* _dR3aM3rs _bBz_*

Can u hear me?

2008-05-04T03:13:00.000-07:00

Sleepin.. sleepin.. and sleepin..
Damn sleepy recently. Whenever i'm boring or nothing to do. My brain only call me to sleep. Dont noe why=.=. I slept at 10 yesterday. But today still wanna sleep. When i see the book then i'll feel sleepy again. Sei lo.. I wanna study man. But how am i gonna study in this condition?? in sleepy mood plus, hell missin him again.. Why?? haix.

Dreamin and dreamin. These days i keep thinkin of those pictures, when he is beside me. But where is him now? where is him now? I dont noe what i gonna do. But i will surely settle this after exam. I noe i said is zillion times ago but in fact i haven ready yet. Well, is not that i wanna broke my promise, but i really dont noe how to say. But i noe, i will regret if i still dont dare to say.

How much i wannt shout,
I-L-0-V-E-U-S-O-M-U-C-H!!!
Can u hear it???
oh pls, dont be so cruel to me. I just need u.....

1830

I-f-e-e-l-s-o-?

2008-03-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

Days by days, it's passin really fast. Fast till i can't even catch it. I don't want it to over that fastt, please..

Went jade's house today. We, which include wan ting and pearl, chat alot of things today. I even cried. I just sad, and feel very pityful for her. I just wanna tell her, no matter what, she is still my friend, and this will never change.

Miss him damn siao today. Don't know why >.<. I wanted to see him now, i need a hug, so muchh. I can't believe i'm writin about him again. Because i had a promise to myself, and now i can't do it. Hell... I really don't know what so good about him, i'm goin to give up but things haven go up yet, i seems to miss him sooo muchh when the time comes, or whenever i see him, because i can't even control myself. I need him badly now.. BADLY..

Hiiiiiiiiii~~

2008-03-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

It's since SOOOOOOOO longggggggg i never sign in this blog recently, LOL. Well, i just have nothin to do and gonna leave somethin here.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tommorow, exam again. Damn sien, BM BC. I'm hell not in mood to study anythin for this stupidly ass monthly test, duh, lazy. And i'm ready to accept the feelings when i got my results. But i have no feelin with that, even i think about when i'm gonna fail every single of my subject. Aiya don't care la, I just wanna rest for this monthly test.

Sleepy, and sleepy. Sometimes i wonder am i sleepin but while i'm not? I can feel that the bed is touchin me but actually i'm just dreamin, damn crazy la these days=.=, i gonna get mentally problem le u noe zzz. Sot, everyday think of nonsense and useless things.

Problems, problems, and problems. Damn headache. I don't know what to do. Everyday everytime everythin is changin in every seconds. Nobody noes what will happen next. And i doubt, why do everybody can be like, "fax-machine-in-da-office"? It means, human's face can be changin really fast in front of different people, just lik the fax machine in, erm example my mum's office? The paper is keep faxin and faxin non-stop, receivin and sendin papers to others. Just like humans, gettin and givin things but in the fake way. Well i don't noe what am i crappin here=.=, but it's time to go, so BYE. I will visit u more oftenly if i can=). BYE MY DEAR BLOGIE!

2332

zzzz...

2008-02-15T06:59:00.000-08:00

Don't know how to describe my mood now. Very complicated. Want cry but can't cry. I just don't feel well today. Anyway, i'm lazy on bloggin now, sign in for fun only.. zzzzzzz.

Tian jiu jiu wo ba!!!

2008-02-12T07:10:00.000-08:00

Schol reopen, again.
Back to the borin and busy life. Tuition; homeworks; activities, etc.
Anyway, i'm really not in mood to study yet. There's still a lot of things i haven settle yet. I can't concentrate on studyin before i settlin those problems. haix. TIAN ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

The Nin Chor Yi

2008-02-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

Nin chor yi ady.
Damn sien. Yesterday whole day go people's house bai nian. Listen those relatives takin crap. Zzz.. Really borin u know? Plus this year nobody sms with me. I sit there really like sho po only. haix, kelian. Later somemore going back to gemas, cham lurhhhh, i will sien till !@#$$%^^&&*(()+-=!!!!

Gtg lurrrrrrhh.. daddy scoldin, haven write finish also, haixx...
BYEBYE

1250

CNY?

2008-02-05T05:55:00.000-08:00

The air around me is tellin.. CNY is gettin closer and closer. But anyway, i don't really smell the feelin of CNY. Unlike last year, before CNY i will be very very happy but now i didn't feel anythin special. CNY den CNY la, so what? It's just a chinese festival to get angpaus or money or meet people. And the fact is i don't even wish the CNY to come, after CNY then have to face the first term exam. Haixxx. I really scare i will fail everythin la. G o s h. It's just a week.

He don't seemz wanna talk with me anymore. Sadzz. Am i that irritatin? or annoyin? Makes him don't wanna talk with me. Right? haixxx. I'm so sad. Think back last year's today. I might be sms-in with him till midnight.. Really really miss that time. haixxxxxxxxx.....

Luv or not?

2008-02-04T03:03:00.000-08:00

Awww.. just went back from tuition class den online.. damn lazy to do homeworks la.. wat hell peka and article.. damn lazy to do liao.. Not going to do ady, just leave it there suan le.

I'm startin to confuse about my feelings again. H.e.l.l. Sometimes i will luv him to death. Sometimes i don't really miss him. Wth am i thinkin? Sometimes i think it's not worth to like him anymore, then i will just forget him and like another one. But when it comes, i will just miss and miss and miss him till die. How ar???????? haix. Anyways, i really hope i can like another one lo.

My case and pearl's are similar again. Coolman. Everytime also like that, zha. s t u p i d x .

So, ai ta? hai shi ta?

1909

P a i n

2008-02-03T06:01:00.000-08:00

Sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick...
pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain
T_______T..

Raining..

2008-02-02T00:59:00.001-08:00

"Raining.. raining and raining.. my mood just as the weather now.."
What i typed for my personal message today. truth. i feel so moody now. Miss him damn much. He might be not at home now, maybe havin fun at somewhere with other people. I just miss him to death u know? Could u understand how much i miss him?
Tonight will be my lonely night. Parents went out for dinner, brother not at home.. What can i do for tonight? i just feel like hanging out and don't want to sit at home to feel the loneliness. But where can i go alone? i don't feel like doing those stupid homework la.. haix..

Save me...?
Really miss him.

答案？？？

2008-02-01T04:06:00.000-08:00

绕了这么大的一圈。。。我发觉，我喜欢的始终都是他。。。
我真的以为。。。真的以为。。。我已经放弃了他。那段时间里，我的确没有想起他，也没有想念他。。。
但然而，那段时间里，我却觉得有点空虚。。。终觉得缺少了一样东西。。。直到现在我才发觉，我其实根本没有放弃他。。。就算我喜欢上其他人，我对他还是会有感觉。。。而现在的我，也越来越喜欢他。。。喜欢他有错吗？？？我决定了，无论如何，这件事还是该解决，我不能这样下去。。。一直为他浪费时间。不然我永远也放不下他。。。这件事还是该有个答案。。。

2015

爱在记忆中找你

2008-01-31T05:22:00.000-08:00

我对你这一生哪个可比
我与你差一些永远一起
邂逅时间场地似连场好戏
要自何页说起 Wow Ho

爱太重深呼吸欠缺空气
爱太美轻轻的却载不起
爱情来到时候似明媚天气
它走了突然骤变雪落雨飞

*如果可以恨你全力痛恨你
连遇上亦要躲避
无非想放下你还是挂念你
谁又会及我伤悲
前事最怕有人提起就算怎麽伸尽手臂
我们亦有一些距离*

你太远该怎麽说对不起
你太近一转身却已高飞
快乐也酗　u 似场流星雨
一眨眼就如幻觉怕又记起

REPEAT**

我情愿我狠心憎你我还在记忆中找你

Sukan tara.

2008-01-30T05:59:00.000-08:00

First day of sukan tara.
Today damn yu la high jump =.=, very stupid de wor, everybody came out liao only jump, damn damn yu. Somemore knocked my elbow, last year leg dis year elbow, STUPID.
Btw, the lompat jauh is kinda fun XD. haha. i wanna try again larrrrr!!!
Tomorrow will be whole day at field, COW, sunburn again..
But YEAHHHH.. tmrw run no need jump anymore XD.

I'm scare, really scare i will fall for him again. Today saw him so many times, and my responds was..? don't know how to say. Just that if suddenly saw him there den will get shocked. Haix, maybe i haven forget him for 100%, i think i should give myself some times to forget him completely. Hope sooo laaa. I hope i will never fall deeply again, since i used so much time to forget it and it seemz to work. BUt however, i knew it's not that easy to. Everytime i forgot him dy after days sure will like him again. Now i also startin to feel like findin him again. NOOOOO!!! have to yan yan yan!!! DAMN??!!?? Then means i mai forever also cannot get rid?

HOLY~~~

2215

D-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e-l-y..

2008-01-29T06:22:00.000-08:00

Another boring-ass-day.
Back from schol, haven even sleep for an hour then rush to tuition. Somemore chemistery and add maths. ISHH~~ so sienz. Sick of studyin.

Tomorrow sukan tara. Damn helly lazy to go. Just feel like sleepin gao gao only. Damn hate to lompat tinggi. H-E-L-L-a-s-s! Haix, but i have to go too eventhought how don't want of my mind.

Sick sick sick. Don't know why just not feelin well. Mentally i mean. Many things inside of me can't be relief. I-n-e-e-d-l-u-v! u know luv? i mean i need MORE luvs.
Don't be selfish, just give me some, k? K???

D-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e-l-y..
ASSDAY!

2228

Just as usual.

2008-01-28T02:52:00.000-08:00

Awww~~ T i r e d~~ Just went back from bio class, later somemore got EST essay have to write, haix. Don't know how to start with, damn lazy, and headache.

I think.. i really didn't like him that much ady. Or should say i don't know whether i'm still likin him or not. No idea. And most probably is because i fell for another one? is it? However, i'm sick and sick and really sick of thinkin this ady. Whatever happens, just happen ba. Maybe forgot him is such-a-get-rid for me. Yeah!

New year is comin so soon. Yesterday i had bought some new clothes, and a pair of shoes, all together cost about 150 bucks i guess. @.@. Pathatic la my parents, no money ady. Anyways, i damn like the red colour singlet shirt with the REALLY SHORT's black skirt. And another two shirt ish somethin in pinkish and greyish., with a HOLY-EVEN-SHORTER skirt, in green colour. DAMN NICE XD. Appreciate.

Clothes are over. Now, back to usual, W910I! I'm luvin this phone more and more and more. DAMN LENG ZHAI LA. He is slimmer then the models and more leng zhai then the leng zhais. COW! The ap price for it ish about 1230. But, i think i can only have it after CNY. Really pity my parents for using so much money at this CNY. So, i have to wait patiently.. RAWR!!!

k lo, stomach callin me XD. Buai yea!

What am i thinkin?

2008-01-26T09:07:00.000-08:00

L.o.v.e?
What is love?
Missin someone every moments, from morning to night. No matter u're eatin, bathin, watchin tv, online, doing homework, exercisin, hangin out, or doing anythin?
So this is love? Is it?

I did luv him that much. Before this week i'm still luvin him into death. I can't find a second where i'm not missin him. Especially when i'm sad.

But now. I really don't know what's happening on me. I just don't have the feelin of "luvin him to death" anymore. Maybe u may say that i'm still likin him. But i don't have the feelin of missin him much much much untill i cannot stand, just like, 1 week before. Just don't know why. And this is the first time i feel so "not miss him." But however, i think, i still crushin him? And i'm wonder, should i tell him? Since i don't like him that much ady. She said that at least i must know the answer, about what he thinkin. Since i crushin him for a year and more. But i'm startin to scare, what if i suddenly don't like him ady just like now after tellin him? Maybe i.. Like another person? is it?

Well, i have to accept that. "he".. is really a great guy. Counted as handsome, smart. And the most important is, when i ever need someone, he was there and worried about me. I felt a little touchin. I don't know whether is it i fell for him. I don't know whether he got feelings towards me or not. But, i felt very warm for it. Maybe i need love too much. There is so long.. so long i never gain any love from someone, besides my family la. So i'm really happy for his concern. Maybe i luv "him" too much before and i felt tired ady, so i wanna try to be loved by another person? Or i think i'm too sick of his cold-blooded attitude? Since last year, he changed really much. He is not the person i ever crushed anymore. He spoiled my mood everytime. Arguin with him made me felt worse. He don't really concern me that much ady. Everytime i felt so soo hurt for it. But he just acts like nothin. I knew, and i knew he's pressin his real feelings down. I too liu gai him. He don't want others to see through what he thinkin. But this made me felt sicks.

The conclusin is, i'm confused. About what i thinkin now.

Friendship stands for bullshit?

2008-01-25T04:01:00.000-08:00

Completely hurted.
What friendship stands for? BULLSHIT? izzit?
I cant imagine how sad am i now. Could u imagine what if your 'so-called-friends, hate u behind of u? They dislike u actualy? I'm really pissed. This is the first time i ever felt so hurt for it. Is it my fault? MY FAULT? i can't think of anythin now..

duu.

2008-01-24T06:09:00.000-08:00

Another tiring day.
Went to ioi today, duh? with them again lor. Movie la, eat la..... and so on.

Lately, i found out somethin.
I'm not ready for it now. Too tired of luvin people. Now i just wanna rest, and enjoy the feelin of not luvin anyone, the freedom. I don't want to care anymore.

2222

Form4 sucks.

2008-01-22T04:04:00.000-08:00

Tired. Just back from bloody tuition. And there's damn a lot of homework waitin for me. Sighz~~ Science stream wor, haven a month but i feel lik changin stream ady. Fed up. So many subjects and damn a lot of homeworks. Don't even have enough time to do. Tuition also got homeworks. Koko cannot que xi. ARGHHHHH!!! I gonna burst man! gila ady. AWW.

Saw him many times at school today. My sight just can't get away from him when i saw him. But somehow i scare to let him know when i'm lookin for him too. LOL. Awwww, can see can't touch. MISS U DAMN MUCH NOW. This is the second time ady. I on then he off. Maybe i'm too sensitive. WHATEVER. Just feel like huggin him.

And really can't predict. Pearl and me, actually using a same ??? towards others? haha. COOLMAN.

2020

Merentas desa~

2008-01-18T03:17:00.000-08:00

Merentas desa!
I guess this is the first year that i take it as seriously on it after stepped to secondary school. LOL. haha.
Just abit more to reach top 10. Sibeh disappointed. haixx. Next year more impossible to get ady. JIA YOU BA.
I saw xxx while runnin. His runnin look was CUTE. haha. That time i no more stamina ady one, then stop for a moment. BUt after seein him then run with him XD. Even he didn't notice me i guess but i stil runnin behind him. SYOK to run behind a leng zhai. HAHA.
But no matter how leng zhai he is, my sight will just actomaticlly move to him if he is around. Sigh~~ Just don't know why. And congratz to him~!!! XD

sigh

2008-01-13T08:29:00.000-08:00

Diary ar diary.. can u mention how hurt am i now? i feel hard on breathin man.. I had the biggest argue with him today.. Maybe he don't take it as anythin, but for me, it's truely hurt.. through the way he hurtin me, u can see that. Even he said a sorry to me, but i'm still very sad, u noe?
I really realised i'm a true dumbo. Do u still think that i need to tell him? Should i? i'm so confuse. Should i start everythin again with a zero????
Early i took my mind to, but now, i'm thinkin should i.. i really luv him as it can't to given up that easy. Do u think likin someone for a year can be given up that easy? i hoped it is...
Damn sad~ sighh~~

0036

Whateverr

2008-01-10T06:08:00.000-08:00

Saw him today.
I just don't dare to look straight into his eyes, it was scary..
But even how i still wanted to see him... i care it whether he's lookin for me, findin for me.. or don't even care about me..

Well i don't know.. It's just too complicated.. and so fat i really don't know wat will happen next..
So
Just wait and see ba

So damn idiot la today.
Early early in da mornin woke me up, pulled me to court, but have no place to place.
Reached there i'm still in sleepin mode also, just feel like pengsan-in.. wan tor tor.. den sit there like patung.. zzz.. But when i wanted to play, there's still no court..
Btw, lucky i din play also, 3 bucks, so damn expensive, just for A match...zzz

2243

I miss him...

2008-01-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that the feelins really came back again.
F r u s t r a t e d.
Which means it's useless even after i did tried so hard on forgettin him.. Or even i fell for others. But it's USELESS.. uselesss.. @.@
I will just fall for him over and over again.
WHEN AM I GONNA GET RID OF THIS?????
I wanna be like pearl. Just accept others den fall for that person suan le.
BUT I CAN'T!!!

So tired of missin him.........

2258

爱？还是不爱?

2008-01-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

我好害怕。。。我真的真的好怕。。。
那些感觉就好像……一次过回来了。。。
我还以为，我已经彻彻底底的忘了他。。。喜欢了第二个。。。
我的确曾竟忘记他……甚至一点都没想起他。。。
但当我和他说回话时，我发觉我又重新爱上了他。。。
但当我知道别人有可能对他又意思时，我会害怕。。。是害怕。。。
我不想就这样放手。。。
但我也不想再像以前那样，又重新开始过。。。
我累了，真的好累。。。我觉得这样爱得很吃力，很辛苦。。。不想放手，但也不想从头开始。。。
那我，因该则么办呢？

The first day of schol

2008-01-03T07:58:00.000-08:00

It's really a wasted.
Whole day at the perhimpunan, listen teacher talkin crap. Somemore EVERY subejct. Sien like cow.
Btw, tomorrow will seperate class, abit chi dai XD..
12 liao lo, so damn full cannot sleep, haix,, chi zou jadi dai fei po@.@.

Anyway, finally saw pearl today. before that she really hak dou us, swwttt...
Aiyo, nothin much to write today la, buhbyexx~~~!!!!!

SCHOOL, see me tomorrow ya? XD

0004

Can't sleep

2008-01-02T08:22:00.000-08:00

It's been 0023, even i'm feelin a little tired, but i can't sleep at all.
haiz. Everytime before school reopen also like that de wor. Don't know it's i'm too excitin or what. BUt i guess is because i used to sleep at 3-4. Even how tired am i now also kenot sleep. damn.

I'm so curious for tomorrow.
Will i be able to same class with my friends? can i?
I'm goin to join pure sciene. Will i able to study pure science?
What will happen on the first day of reopen?
I WONDER~~

NOw don't know what to do la, cannot sleep. HAIZ.

0026

No matter - Angel

2008-01-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

It's a tvb theme song from the buildin blocks of life.
Nice, enjoy it.!!! But too bad i still can't get the full version. haiz.

Doesn't matter whom you are with .
Doesn't matter where you are going.
Don't you know I'm still waiting here for you and pray for you .
In the sunny days,sun will light you day.
In the windy day, wind will leave your way.
I have to say, you're my treasure moments.
Never gonna walk away.
In the rainy days,rain will share my tears.
In the stormy days, storms will steal my pain.
Just go your way and leave things all behind.
Spread your wings and fly away.
I'm pretending you're mine. I'm wishing you'll be fine.
The moments we share never die.
You've made a difference to my life

2008!!!

2007-12-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
It's another brand new year, let's welcome the 2008.
Happy happy 2008, finally i'm 16. SWEET SWEET 16 XD!!!

So far, today is my best new year. I went back around 2, with my crazy gang. The stupid-est people XD. yeng man. It was syok to bully fei hoong. NGEK NGEKZ..
But the price is, i was being scolded by my mum, peh peh full. haiz. Cause i don't have the key ma, really ma fan >.<

Yeahhh tomorrow can sleep til 12!!! XD, syok man. Afternoon den goin out again . Nice new year :)

I WAN W580I!!!
Hope my dad is free tommorow @.@

WISH ME LUCK YEA GUYS,
HAVE A NICE DAY~~

01218

i'll try to live for myself

2007-12-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

Do u know the feelin of cryin? It's kind of sobbin. And the worst is, u can't even breath..

I really don't know how many billions time i cried today.
The feelin of depressed just comin ahead. I felt so, san fu. I cannot stand anymore. And i don't know what the hell is happenin on myself.. Sometimes i just wanted to rest, but the faith always don't let me do..

Today,
i argue with my mum. For really A LOT times. Even just for those stupidly small matters. I feel so difficult on living. It's really hard to live as human. Sometimes i do think, how good if i'm just an animal? Animals live for nothin. They don't need to care on everythin lik humans past through. Their life don't need to think. Compare to humans, i wonder what's the purpose for us on livin? For family? friends? lovers? or maybe ownself? Money?

Watchin sad shows made me feel even sad. But it's really a relief on cryin, HARDLY. Just use all your strength on cryin, when it's needed. Like what i did today. i cry, and cry. Today i really felt the true feelin of cryin.

Sometimes life even full of disappointment.
I copied this sentence from her. Even she never mentioned how sad was she. But i can feel it. Even i don't know how was her result. BUt i know, how disappointed was her. Helly sad. I felt so too.
OH CONGRATZ!!! It is really that good? But why i don't find any point of happiness. What so happy? I'm not satisfy.

Hell look at me?!?!
It is the last day of 2007. See what i did for this year.
I went school. I had new class. I made new friends. I had a new life. I had a new startin. I had a nice new year. I met him. I fell in luv. I had wonderful time.I went crazy for him. I got misunderstands by others. I got hurt. I gave up. I being hated by people. I started to feet numb. I felt sad. I don't trust on love anymore. I knew who was my true friends. I knew who was fake. I met leng zhais. I met crushes. I felt being chased by people. I rejected people. I hurted people. I felt guilty. I try hard on studyin. I went through PMR. I have my own gang of friends. I felt the happiness for others. I wished for alot of things. I got my results. I went out everyday on holidays. I had the CRAZIEST and happiest christmas ever.

And now, it's the last day of my form3 life. Isn't it too fast? I went through a lot of things for this year, and i understood a lot of things. This made me grow mature. I know what to do for myself.

And i promise myself, i'll try to become happy.

0304

幸福？

2007-12-29T17:26:00.000-08:00

忽然觉得好寂寞。。。家里没人，又很特别安静。。。
顿时让我体会到静的恐怖。。。这种感觉不好受。。。
也很忽然的，我好想要一个男朋友，一个真正会关心我，问候我，在意我的男朋友。X_X
难道我的要求会很过分吗？
眼见我朋友们一个一个的幸福，顿时觉得很羡慕，也很妒嫉。。。如果我也可以这么幸福，那有多好啊？
我只想为自己争取那一点点的幸福。。。就算是一刹哪，也无所谓。。。
我真的累了。。。有时真的需要一个人愿意得陪我，一起吵，一起闹。。。

幸福？
我真的能得到你吗？

F-i-n-a-l-l-y

2007-12-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

Early early in the morning, 1030[i mean it's early for me la], woke up cause of someone's message. swt. I somomore planned to sleep until 12+ de=.=. But nvm la, it's from him =).
I don't even get the result yet, but my phone, kept ringin and ringin.
" How was your result? How many A do u get."
Then i was just, "uhm, no idea. [smillin forcinly]"
LOL, i wonder why those peoples are more care of my results rather than i?

ok then,
about 11, i walked to school, with my perfect pj shirt, nervously, straight to the school.. the feelin of scary runnin towards me. I reached school, jusst saw some UM's friend, ei jane they all.
WHERE IS WAN TING? she went school at RIGHT 10!
WHERE IS PEARL? she just told me she reached.
ok, then i keep callin for them. Yuan lai our paliah school will only get at 12.30. Pearl back home liao. THEN, WAN TING LE? she's not at home either. So where's her? after for callin and callin, she still didn't pick up my phone. Finally i found her by callin his husband. They at father's house.
SWT.

Ok it's a little accident.
Let's continue the scary part.
TICK TAK TICK TAK, i can feel the time's passin second by second..
12.30!!!
i walked to school with jiunn bin. On the way we're tryin to calm each other down.
we saw many people takin their results walkin home. DAMN I'M SCARED!!
Finally reached school.
My legs are tryin to slow down, yet but feel lik runnin. [really confusin]
i walk to the canteen. I saw wan ting they all finally.

HEART BEATS CRAZYILY FAST.
it's goin faster and faster, i can't even breath.
I saw the teacher then, she gave us my cert first, the first want was BM ora. Before that i thought it was result. C C C B~~
"HUH! CCCD? "WAT SUBJECT IS THAT? i start to worry.
Then i see a little more cleally, CHEH it was oral cert. HAK SEI NGO MEH.=.=.
"aiyo scare wat la, our whole class bm oral test also the same la. zzz" from wan ting
stupid teacher. purposely de.
Then yet, the maria somemore don't want to give me my result! I WAS NERVOUS LIKE HELL MAN.
" Yee theng, mengapa? byk C la, ada D juga! teruknya" stupid teacher playin trick on me again, deng? thought i not enough nervous meh.
My hand keep tremblin and tremblin while signin..

I SAW MY RESULT FINALLY.
song le yi kou qi.

0026

SCARED AR

2007-12-26T06:51:00.000-08:00

FUIYOOOOOO~!!!!
tomorrow gonna take results. SIAO SIA!! so fast for what? haiz, so damn scare man @.@
I can't imagine my result, i don't want to face the truth, ughhh~~~ S C A R E D !!!

D-A-M-N-I-T!
really hope tomorrow i won't meet anyone there, and nobody will ask me about my result. P L E A S E !!! arghhhh!!!
IT'S TOMORROW?!?!
WHY can the time past so fast huh?
i dont even ready for it, I'M NOT READY FOR IT MAN!!! i'm not confident at all.. u know?
haiz.
haiz.
haiz.
haiz.
haiz.

ARGH

2007-12-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Tokin to him again made me feel very scare..
I'm sooo scare..
i really really hope...........
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
gonna crazy man!!!!
HE HATES ME? IZZIT?

0123

噩梦。。。

2007-12-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

噩梦。。。
是噩梦……
昨天晚上，我发了一个很恐怖的梦，并不是什么见鬼还是被野兽追。。。而是，我永永远远的失去了他……
在梦里，我并没有哭，但整个人已经没有感觉了。。。麻木了……就好像行尸走肉那样……我很紧张……
我见到他和第二个女子走开了……而我，也永远在也不能和他在一起……这种感觉，真的好恐怖。。。我不断的打自己，希望这是一场梦，但奇怪的是，我居然感觉到‘痛’……真得很痛。。。
难道……我真得不能没有他吗？？？

1318

彩虹 - Jay chou

2007-12-19T05:23:00.000-08:00

彩虹 - Jay chou

I did cried after hearin this song. SOOO touchinnn..

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有云都跑到我这里

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白
看不见你的笑
要我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳开始环绕环绕
没有理由我也能自己走掉
是我说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

XD?

2007-12-19T05:10:00.000-08:00

I don't know whether i'm still likin him or what. Sometimes my brain automatic thinks of him but i guess it's not that deep anymore. LOL. Cause i didn't feel anythin special on talkin to him anymore. It's no big deal if i never talk to him for the whole week. Now i'd prefer spendin time with my bloody friends XD. At least it's funnier. RIGHT?

Maybe i don't like him anymore? i'm so not sure. But 1 thing i'm very sure. I'm very appreciate and happy with my current situation. I don't wanna change it. Maybe now is better gua?

YEAHH goes to the topic of party!!! All of our ga gi langs are being invited to my house. On 24th of december, christmas eve, a countdown party XD. My whole family wont be at home yeah yeah!! So damn can't wait for it man!!!

2120

Syok syok SYOK!!!

2007-12-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

SYOK HABIS!!!
Today was my syok-est day after so long. XD.. SUANG AR!!!
It was my first time to sat on the space shot. It's scary yet EXCITIN! Me and my damnly brother, which been forced up to accompany me for 'enjoy' that by me XD, was waited for around an hour and half, only can get into that space spot. It's just SCREAMIN AND SCREAMIN i heard from others before we went up. When it go up that time i also start shoutin adi. But when it's goin to down, i can't shout that loud cause the pressure very high @_@. ANYWAY, I'M STILL ALL TIME SHOUTIN XD!! REALLY CHI KEK MAN!!!

Next, here goes roller coaster. There was many kinds of that, what flyin dragon la, cyclone and more la. We tried many kinds, but didn't get to try the scariest want, corkscrew, haiz. When my brother and i goin to line up for it, the person said it's too many people cannot adi, disappointment. NVM la, at least my 'DAN SIAO' mummy and the younger brother pui us sit the cyclone just after we enter the outdoor park XD. Then my younger brother keep sayin he don't wanna play adi after that, HAHA. And my mum ate 2 panadols after pui us sat that @_@. pity herrr.

After all, i guess the scariest thing is the flyin coaster, nehh the spiderman ar. But i never try that @_@. It's not that i don't dare la XD. When we line up for it de shi hou, reach us liao the person only tell us have to buy ticket which means add money to play, each person 12 bucks. Me and my brother then have to pay 24 bucks, then we ma just go away lo. But honestly la, i also don't really dare to sit that spiderman thing, SEE ALSO SCARE!!! i also kinda to sok sha when linin up. Somemore my brother scare i also scare, kong bu la. But i still NEVER regret on playin the space spot after that, HEHEHE, and feel lik playin again. BTW, the flyin coaster is somethin to let u lie on it, then when it starts the thing will TURN TURN TURN until u sot. Later haven come down then faint inside adi zzz. But next time when i go with my friends, I SURELY MUST TRY.. HMPH!!! SUI PA SUI!!!

Other than that, my beloved mummy also pui us sit the boat thing. It's called somthin lik sungai rejang flume ride, if i never wrong. Excitin also, when the boat comin down then i just pull my brother's shirt and SCREAMMMM!!! Somemore the boat thing didn't have somthin like belt de, it's just somethin to let u hold. When go up and go down that time really scary, u will feel like droppin into the water cause didn't have somethin to tie u up, but still syok la XD. LAstly Our shirts all gone wet after playin that, jackets also wet adi. My BUTT, i mean my jeans also gone wet.. zzz.

We played another stupid ship game at last. It's somethin to let u cycle,=.=. Don't know why my younger brother wan to play that noob ship rather then playin the other want with motor de. My legs gone CRAZY after cycling, got my meanin??? zzz..

Enough on mentionin outdoor la, let me tell u the boringness of INDOOR=.=. We went indoor before that. It was really zzz. Very sien wan le. We just kept walkin and don't know what to play. But anyway we also tried the stupid mo tian lun. Waste my time de. Now only i know genting's mo tian lun u have to call the people to stop it once u don't want to continue. We turned many rounds only know that, swt. damnly slow. But there's still somethin kinda nice to play de, the bumper car. Nice also le, i keep zhong people, SUANG NIA XD. Then others game all very stupid liao want, sit till i wanna sleep, slower than a tortoise.. zzz

WOW! i realised i wrote an ESSAY!!! LMAOXXXX!!! I think it's enough for today la, lazy to write liao. Tomorrow got badminton. GOOD NIGHT XD!!!

16 of dec, 2007
2243

Down?

2007-12-15T08:37:00.001-08:00

What the heck?
Once again, i feel so down. just don't know why? Maybe.. miss him? i wonder.
i had tried my ever best to pass my days even happier. It seems to work when it's comin. When i spend time with my friends, especially hangin out. That's why i'm tryin my best not to stay at home as much as i can. Fillin up my day busy with activities will cure myself. i did felt happy with my crazy friends. i really did. When it's time with my friends, i'm so appreciate for every moments since i'm passin with my friends. i love them. at least they can make me laugh. i could forget everything when i'm with them. This shows the powerful of friendship. i thought that always. that's why i'm tryin to have as much time as possible to spend with them, rather then sittin home thinkin too much. It's fine to be at home actually, i can still spend my time with anime. But when the nights are comin, time for bed, then i will feel lonely. i do thought the happiness by them could helps me. But somehow when it comes quiet, when i'm alone, with nobody, just me, all myself, the feelin of depressed comes again. Sometimes i even feel like cryin, but it just like hidin inside shouldn't come out. i try on to watch some sad shows. Yeah i do felt released after cryin, i thought that i was ok. But after so, i found out it doesn't really work. Because after all, i will feel down again. Just purely sad.

Just hoped...................................................

0057

Today

2007-12-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

Whole day outside today. Again the rainy day.
Tuition > Badminton > MEENAS for HOURS!!
Sometimes i hope everyday also like that, no need stay at home do nothin. It's much more better chattin with friends, then sittin at home thinkin too much.

Haix, tomorrow will be another borin day. i really hope to go out again. Just anywhere la. Pearl at tampin, wan ting went back home, only left me here @_@. cham.......................................

Will i able to control myself from gettin.......................................................................................................

???

2245

需要你的爱

2007-12-12T09:36:00.000-08:00

F.i.r's new album.. -> 爱.歌姬

需要你的爱 by faye and ah xing. NICE!!! enjoy!! XD

当你选择了云的距离
就这么自私做个决定
冲破天际飞去
排山倒海崩塌的回忆
也许无刻袭击我的心
痛得不能自己

或许你以为把这一座城市抛开
就可以纠结伤害
却不明白

我需要你的爱
不管多少阻碍不求什么未来
不管命运会怎么安排
我会用眼泪洗去所有的不堪
狠狠地把心痛了断
深深地把一切重来

我需要你的爱像掉进了深海
也像坠落悬崖找不到地方可以逃开
别让那些谎言把爱给活埋
当心碎成一块一块
当爱碎曾一断一断
我会等待你的爱

我会等待(我会等待)

你将那些谎言把爱给活埋

0143

Got better?

2007-12-11T08:34:00.000-08:00

Felt better today.
Maybe never talk to him better gua? At least.. don't know how to write it out in words la.. zz. I i need some times to think of what to do now. Should i?? SHOULD I??
Haiz, leave it for next week only think la.. zzz

That day he really made me angry. It's REAL ANGRY! I really hate those people when they fu him me. If u don't want to talk with me, why don't just tell me by givin some excuses? etc u could say u busy doin stuff or whatever. It's much more better then u reply me with 1 or 2 words. I hate THAT!! STUPID!! Somehow, he makes me feel so fan gan. Maybe one day i will become somebody who hates him to death. It's just a tiny fine line between the luvs and hates. Well, but i hope i will not. Please, don't treat me like this, it's hurt u know?

Well, stuffs about him are over.
Here also to say, sorry ya guys, sometimes my mood gone bad, then my face will suddenly change, i wonder if that scares u all @_@. lol. thanks for concerin (=
Izzit only friends will be forever compare to.. L.U.V?

Maybe?

0052

很乱

2007-12-06T05:38:00.000-08:00

今天很开心。想通了很多事情，但同时，也开始confuse了。虽然我已决定要如何做了，但……却开始犹豫了……我该不该那么做呢？是不是对的呢？今天他对我很冷淡，虽然我明白了些事情，但，还是，不知道该如何说……

开始乱了……本来已决定好了的事情也开始便夸了，我始终都没有…………………………………………

My perfect day`~

2007-12-05T06:38:00.000-08:00

Dear diary,

Today was so fun!!! It's been so long i never feel that HIGHH!!! We sang for 3 hours and more.. SHOUT SHOUT AND SHOUTNESS!!! And it's really really syok.. Till my throat also no voice le.. LOL!!! And we got 50% discount. only 10 bucks. Anyway, IT'S STILL THE NEXT TIME, CAUSE WE GOT ANOTHER VOUCHER!!!

Then we have a nice yet funny movie - ENCHANTED!!! The prince very dumb la.. zzz.. U will get what i say after u watch the movie.. HEHE..

Thxuss ya guys, given me such a nice day, i'm waitin for the another day like this. My mood feel better now.. PHEWWW...

2250

Dear diary..

2007-12-03T06:56:00.000-08:00

Dear diary,

3rd of december.
Really really fast. Until i can't feel it's fastness. Well, maybe i'm kinda busy in this holiday. Almost everyday i goin out. Badminton la, movie la, shoppin la, ktv la, shabu shabu la....... AND TUITION!! So this holiday really goin fast. But i would hope the school's reopen can come faster. Stay at home is bloody borin. Even i havin frens around. lol.

I really don't know there was how many days i never talk to him. Everytime i feel like findin him, there's somethin could stop me, i don't know why. Really don't know why @_@. haiz. But i really really feel like smsin him, chattin with him, tellin him everythin of my stuff, and hearin everythin from him. I REALLY REALLY MISS HIM .........................................................................

Ok, no matther what i crappin here, he will just never knows, so.... i also don't know what to say about myself. continue my anime la.

2302
Monday

Another borin day

2007-11-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

Hohoho~~ i spent my whole day with nothin today.. damn sien.. No hang outs, not badminton, and no tution, just sleep and eat and ONLINE till siao adi. Eyes also started to tired. haiyo.

Ladies and gentlemen,
RUBYTANG!!! here she is, BROKE HER RECORD!!!
The first time i never sms for a whole day!!!! And this doesn't cause of reasons like "out of credit" or "expired". It's cause i DON'T FEEL LIKE. Never reply a single message, yeng nia. WELL, don't count on my mum la, hehe.

The third day i didn't talk to him again.. zzz. Well, i don't know how many times i wrote this before, but i just want to write it out, lol. Next week i'm not gonna talk to him also. First reason, ima lazy. XD. Later argue again i lazy to use my brain also. zzz.

watever la. Stop thinkin that for now. Tomorrow, another borin day. zzz. But at least afternoon got badminton, i guess. Haiz but tomorrow my whole family, even my maid is goin back to Johor, leave me alone here, Sunday i have to work, because of that stupid reason then i have to stay at home alone, HAIX, DAMN.

ZzzZzzzZzzzzZzzzZZzzzzZzzzz

i had a nap today but still, i'm starin to YAWN~~~~
GOOD NIGHT~

0004, Friday

Passing fast

2007-11-29T05:14:00.000-08:00

Days past days, it's going really really fast. 1 month was over. December is comin.
My life still da same, as usual, let's see..

- e a t
- s l e e p
- s h i t
- t u i t i o n
- b a d m i n t o n
- o n l i n e
- s h o p i n

nothing special, it's gettin bored.

In fact, ima startin to get nervous, few more weeks then the results are comin out. So scaryy.. but on the other way i'm a bit desperate to know also. CONTRADICTION!!
stupid la. My real motive is just for the new handphone @_@.. I WANT A NEW HANDPHONE!!

God bless me please（;

Broken

2007-11-27T08:45:00.000-08:00

I guess nobody could ever understand how pain was i.
I can't believe i'm cryin for this, i'm a failure. TOTALLY a failure.
And i could never believe he will hurt me like this. I broke my promise. i said i will never cry for this, but the fact is i did. I really wanna cryyyyy.
I HATE HIM!

" ur things wat related to me?"
this sentences was really really hurtful, i can't stand for it. My mood is just slightly better abit, then he told me this, after that it was broken, nobody can cure it. eVEN myself.

I don't know why things would go out like this. While we're starin the conversation really nice, he find me to chat. It's no turnin back. it was already hurt me hardly, it's worse den u killin me by usin a knife, maybe die could better then this.
i don't know why could i care him so much, since he don't care about me..

But if u really don't even care about me why do u askin act like very guan sam me? U angry when i don't want to tell u my things. U don't like it when i'm keepin secret from u, right? my feelings won't wrong. But why? why could u ever hurt me like this? If u really don't care about me then just don't choi me la. Why u want to be so guan sam me? STOP IT LA, it's enough. WO SOU GOU LE!!! Is it that u knew that i liked u, u don't like me but u want me to suffer?? OK, u're succeed, HAPPY? until this moment, i'm still..........

THAT'S WHY I SAY I'M STUPID!

wu liao

2007-11-22T23:19:00.000-08:00

今天超无聊！羽球也没去到，超懒的！！在家无所事事，对着这个电脑，写着无聊的BLOG，haix.
好想去见林宇仲，超爱他的！！MUAXXX,i want to hugg himmmm!!!!!!!!爱死他！！！

林宇仲万岁！！！！！

咳……好闷好闷阿!
昨天遇见他哥哥，也是超lengzhai de XD。

haix don't want use chinese liao la, mafan.. zzz. TOMORROW I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPEN ALSO I MUST GO THE MINESSSS!!!! XD..
very borin la, today mummy take lift, but still borin la, zzz. But lazy to out also, haha, hope she wont nag me out la T___T..

haix i want buy mew phone la, W580I also niceee, @@, desperate nia.....................................................................

不能说的秘密

2007-11-21T07:48:00.000-08:00

Went ktv today, sing til kinda high but, not that high as last time, LOL.
And not enough singing also.@.@ By the way, i really gonna bankrap liao T_____T, NO MONEYYYYYY~~ sing oso use 17 liao, haix, and bought 2 more tshirts. i swear next next next week also don't want use money liao, haix.

Return the disc finally, see him so fierce, also xia dao wo, =.=. sot sot.. XD

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
不管你会不会记得我，也不管我们还会不会见面，我只想告诉你一个秘密 - 我爱你。

by
不能说的秘密

zzz

2007-11-17T04:46:00.000-08:00

Zzzzzzzzzzzz..
Borin + lazy.
Haix, i don't wanna go work la tomorrow, have to work with those lame people, g o s h, really hate them, annoyin!! I don't wanna work le next month, they're just too "gajhawkfrawhfr"!!!! ZZZ!! moNEY oso gai sui gam dor only, work for what? DUMB!

The third day never talk to him. Maybe for him he will feel nothin but for me, it's really longgg. I wanna KISS HIM.. zzz. H a i x. Yesterday was my worst night. House no people plus nothin to do, even it's not the first time but, don't know why i just felt so worse, watch tv until fell asleep, at about 9pm, until the second morning, sleepppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.zzz. But he sure havin fun lo.

Wonder is him workin right now? i wanna find him but, don't dare. I really scare if i'm annoyin him. I really don't want to be such a girl that annoys him, cause i can understand the feelin of gettin annoys, the next stage then he wil hate me. I really don't want to be hate by him>.<. Pleaseee, don't T______T.

i m i s s u ~

2058 Saturday

i-was-being-hurted

2007-11-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

I still remember what he said yesterday.
"takin with u WASTIN MY TIME!"
We had an arguement. And he said it to me. But he didn't know, it was ssoooooooo HURT for me. >.< didn't U KNOW?

OK fine, i won't disturb him ANYMORE. i won't. Since he thinks i'm such an annoyin. Even he didn't tell me this, but i can feel that he's tellin me.

Yesterday, i really have alot of happy stuff wanna tell him, but i haven even into topic, then we argue, argue, argue. Then he fu him me, than have a *quietment* fIRSTly i was just angry him for some useless stuff for fun, didn't know it will changed to a stage which call HURT. Suan le ba,>.<, but why??? Why u wanna change my such a happy day into a...///////?????

S a d n e s s .

I-N-C-O-N-S-O-L-A-B-L-E

2007-11-13T18:30:00.000-08:00

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Felt like a scene on the cutting room floor
When I let you walk away tonight
Without a word

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh
If you were here right now, I swear,
I'd tell you this

CHORUS:
Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all i ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls
I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no.
I've memorized the number
So why can't I make the call?
Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility

CHORUS:
Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I don't want to be like this,
I just want to let you know,
Everything that I'm holding,
Is everything I can't let go, can't let go.

CHORUS:
Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

Don't you know it baby
I don't want to waste another day

I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

@.@

2007-11-13T07:57:00.000-08:00

Today was really tired. Whole day just past with blur-ness. Stay in front of the pc since i woke up at the morning. Msn. Games. Shows. Frenster & songs until tuition time. What else more? nothing.
Today had a chemistery class. A don't-know-who teacher taught us. Honestly, he looks like Mr.bean la XD, yea his face, or even his actin, his slang. Was so special u know. But he 'sendiri cakap sendiri syok', we don't understand pun=.=. He keep draw those alphabets example like H, O, C etc. zzz. But after that was fun too, we did few experiments like 'needle balloon', 'fire money & fire hands', and lastly the mentos and cola lo. FUN!!

Same thing, missin him. missin him. and missin him. i really don't know how to explain but just m i s s i n@.@. Whole day didn't find him.

haix, my left eye a bit cacat adi. bengkak. don't know what happen to me la. last time also like that. zzz.

0007 wEDNESday

The first day of workin

2007-11-10T23:39:00.000-08:00

P h e w . tirednya. today's my first day of workin. stand for almost 8 HOURS! My legs are tellin me how tired are them at this moment. zzz. Well, it's still not that bad la, at least better then i thought. Lmao. 25 bucks, i've become a waitress for 8 hours just for 25 bucks. $$$. i want get more qian ar!! 16, if i'm 16 i can get a better job, not waitress, of course. even waitress also better wan la. promoter!! hehe. Brain also start to feel sleepy liao. After the show i gonna zzzz. At night maybe goin to cort to see my a bin bin dance. haha.

weeee~~ today get to know a gang of guys, geng le. Too many guys there till i also mixed up their names. i only know a guy called "johan". He's really cuteee. Always help me de. Hen hao ren. Exchanged alot of numbers. The whole restaurant i only dislike somebody, called "ah ming" i guess, the cook porridge one, he ar.. zzz. the boss haven scold me he scold me. If i did somethin wrong then nvm la, but i didn't do anythin wrong also, like shoutin to me, damn him la. "WAT DO U WANT?" eh, i'm not here to let u scold ok, u're just the worker right? =.=.

He didn't reply my message. And didn't on also. haix. wonder today he got work or not le? m i s s i n him so muchhhh, and much and much and much and much and much and much and much and much and much and much and much AND REALLY MUCH!!

@.@
1553, Sunday

i.n.e.e.d.L.U.V

2007-11-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

Finally, graz to father lipz, he got her succeesly!! So happieeeeee!!! i become "mui yan" so long finally the endin comes out great. yeah. But by the other side. i very jealous la!!! =X
ALL THE BEST FOR U TWO. (= even it's abit weird. haha. well, stil, GOOD LUCK!!

Back to my part. Still wanna damn him. He didn't get it, still. Dumb. DUMB! ughhhh!
haix, i need a rest. i need a CRY. i need hIM. And most of all, I NEED LUV!! Yor, i very jealous la. I.w.a.n.t.a.b.f! I WANTT, really desperate@.@.
SUAN LE, i gonna accept another one, i really can't wait for it. T_____T

Love hurts

2007-11-08T07:25:00.000-08:00

Haix, f**kin pissed. I LUV HIM TO DEATH. BUT HE SEEMS SO 'look cold and indifferent'.
Hurted. LUV HURTS. IT REALLY HURTS.

This is the first time for me, to luv somebody into so deeply. i hate that. being loved by people is much more easier and better. But in fact I'M THE ONE WHO LUVIN PEOPLE. So how? it's really hurt. HURTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! It's so pain.
I never fall for somebody like this, and this makes me feel so dumb. it's like i'm doin dumb thing just to luv him. Everytime i've lookin for him. No matter where he is, what he doin, i'm still lookin for him. I'm always look for chances to talk with him, hang out with him. I really WANT him. i want him. i want him.!

It's not that i don't want to accept them, BUT, i just can't forget him. I can't. Before that i'd tried my best to. Till i realise, i can't do it, i choose not to. But lately i found out, even i choose yes or no to luv him, it's the same. It's still hurts. I swear, this's really the first time for me to like someone without the look, or other strong point. BUt why? Why should the first time be so zzz? Why can't just give me a better memory???? WHY? I LUV HIMMMMMMMMMMM SO MUCHHHHH!!

Hot like hell

2007-11-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

Sleep's but noisy's day.
Wanted to sleep, but there're too noisy. Upstairs downstairs also full of people's voice, damn it. Plus i not feelin well, hot like hell, just now somemore had a nosebleedin, damn. so hot. Later goin interview somemore. L a z y.

haix

1146 Thursday

How stupid of him?

2007-11-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

i CAN'T stand for his stupidness day by day. I'm tellin him but his responds WAS.............!!!!! How dumb? He don't understand english? Well, i don't mind on tellin him in chinese, korean, japanese, or even malay. Haix.

Does his care about me actually. Wonderin. Sometimes he does, but sometimes like zzz. He did cared about me, but he don't know how to. But sometimes, he really can make me, smile. Yes i mean smile. I look at his message, his stupidness way of reply XD, don't know what responds should i give him. Gek til me LAUGH=.=. what the.

Just, missing him.

2152, Wednesday

Stupid idiot

2007-11-06T06:12:00.000-08:00

Flu and sneezin never leave me for these days. I've sufferin too much like, eatin 'tasteless' food, can't really breath smoothly, and always feel sleepy. Somemore i'm in 'girls jail' for this week. So damn it la. San fu. T__T

Haix, somethin made me feel more even worse. He... haiz. so chun. beh tahan. @.@..
Don't get what i mean, don't get why am i so lou hei, and don't even get what'd i felt. S t u p i d !

Kena marah again. Stupid. Everyday scoldddddddddddddddddddddd. ish. Mostly also cause of my damnly idiot brother. Go out la, have fun, till haven finish his homework, then don't know how to do want me teach, well it's never mind. But u know what's the time now? IT'S ALMOST 12! My mum brought him out, now he haven finish his homework , and want me to OFF AND TEACH HIM??/ NO WAY. What a jerk. Hate it. Tomorrow i have to go out early in the morning, AND I HAVE TO PROMISE HER, TO BACK AT 10.30, JUZ TO TEACH MY BROTHER HIS BLOODLY THING. What the. Well i'm tryin not to get myself into so rude, but it's just too......

i have no comment.

Damn

2007-11-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

Feelin not well today. Just, like somethin inside me can't be put out. When i feels bad, but i looks happy. This made that like, everythin sad inside forever's inside. Just like today. But the problem is, i don't understand what am i moody at. Just not feelin well, maybe somethin worse will happen soon... don't know la..

Damn tired now, but don't want to sleep, haix.

2238 Saturday

Sick

2007-10-31T06:45:00.001-07:00

AHHH CHEWWWWW!!!
Really really cham today. Fever + flu + headache. Doctor said i'm so,e kind of person that lack of blood, that's why i will always feel wan tor tor, sometimes really pening till want to faint. g o s h!
Went badminton today after tuition, i really don't what am i doin the whole day. b-l-u-r~~ Tuition that time i really feel like sleepin already, plus it's BM subject, somemore KARANGAN, damn it. After tuition went badminton, don't know what's the purpose to go there, just play phone only, waste my time.

Finally back home, after dinner i'm goin to oi, sleepyyyyyy~~
GOOD NITE！！

Me, again, alone, quiet

2007-10-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Haix, what a lonely Sunday. So-called family day. Mummy went out with her friends, daddy went fishin with his friends, brother went to competition. Only left out me and the maid, again. Ok it's fine, i called up Wan ting, unfortunately she went home. Fine too, i called pearl, she went out. Everyone is busy on this stupid weekend besides me. So borin nothing to do. Online watch anime, watch show, yesh what a good time for me to, but i have to scare about the bill. Nobody's free to chat with me. Who can i find to accompany me? HATE TO BE LONELY!!! felt so left out.
Whoever readin this, feel free to 'pui' me???!!!??? Or there's still a nobody?

T i r e d of everythin!!!!

2007-10-27T10:27:00.000-07:00

Damnly moody~~
aihx, many things happened today. First of all, being scolded then scolded. Then....
really don't know how to explain. i felt so tired of trustin people. Felf so tired of acting impregnable; felt tired of crushin him, or even actin i didn't have any feelings towards him; felt tired of lyin to myself. Everytime i'm tryin to be the best, to let everyone felt that i'm the happiest person. Laughin and playin happily around my friends everyday. Pretend to be joyful. I'M SO TIRED OF ALL THESE THINGS!! Sometimes i need a break, i will be sad. I need someone to understand me. i need a good listener. And most of all i need a HUG, i really WANT a hug!! I'm just a normal-secondary-school-girl. Just like other girls, i'm emotional, gets angry easily. Yesss, but after all, girls are some kind of person like this because, we need somebody to coax, to calm us down, healed us. But why do guys always don't get what we really want? He always don't get what'd i felt. Or even sometimes don't care about me. Is this called 'negliment'? YES totally agree!! It's hurt when your him or her to be negliment towards you isn't it, don't you agree? And he's slowin hurtin me, but the worst is he don't even noticed that, that's even hurtful. Feel so difficult for myself. At this moment, i felt so.. fed up. Why there must be so many strees to a ordinary girl like me? Why there must be so many things happen to me in a same time? Many things happened tonight. i thought there're my best time after exam, but now i fount it even worse. i'd rather choose to exam. At least i can keep myself busy without thinkin so perplexity. God, please help me, get rid of these!! i'm really tired....

无无聊聊又一天……

2007-10-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

无无聊聊又一天。我的日子真是越来越没用了！
今天在学校，做些什么无聊的心理测验，闷毙了！简直是无聊透顶，毫无意义。蒙查查的我又过了一天。〉。〈咳……现在的日子真不知怎么过。以前考试的时候就求神拜佛要考完试，放假；现在呢，考完试油没事做。之前还说有什么大计划，现在也不觉得什么了。救命！

上完无聊的“课”后，回家紧接下来取补习。现在我终于知道原来pmr真得很容易。你试下去看看那些F4的问题，头都痛了。尤其是国语，真不至明年该怎么办才好T.T，真惨！我反而羡慕那是明年要考pmr的家伙起来了，乍到！

明天后天都决定了不要上学了，不然到那边也是浪费时间而已，倒不如在家睡觉算了，或则四处走也好，方正就是不要到学校去无聊了，直到下个星期，他们都考完试了，又可以见到他，好开心哦！XD。我开始学pearl的语气了=.=。swt

I want watch arrrrrr T.T

2007-10-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr gek sei ngo..
Damn the stupid utube."Get the latest adobe flash player"=.=. I ming ming installed liao de, but it still shows the same thing for me, yesterday still can watch then suddenly can't..>.< I LEFT THE ENDIN ONLY LE, HUAN HUAN AI!!! SOBXXXXX. So desperatey to watch arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Please laaaaaaaa T.T..

Haix, i guess nowadays-me really sot liao. i slept at 9pm just now. Can't watch huan huan ai den straight to the bed. An di thought i will sleep till tomorrow morning but in fact i woke up at 1am=.=. When i woke up i thought it's morning, when i wanna brish my teeth i found out it's still midnight. go sh !

Lastly, i still wanna cry for the showwwwwwwwwww SOBXXXXX I WANT WATCH ERRRR T.T

很冷……

2007-10-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

夜深了。
外面细细的小雨却没有平伏我。我还是觉得很冷…………很冷。冷到我自己也无法感觉自己。这种感受，不知你们有没有试过呢？真得很不舒服。
我事实上却是很累，眼皮快掉下来了，但却不知为什么得睡不着。=。=。咳…………我也不明白。

明天终于可以回学校了，我第六灵感告诉我，明天总不会有好事发生。很不祥的预感，让我感受到莫名其妙的害怕。这种感觉，的确是无法解释，也没有人会明白。

Cold~~

2007-10-22T03:31:00.000-07:00

I just feel so.. cold.
____________________________________________________________________________________

endz

Lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyz sleepyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2007-10-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Ishhhhhh~~ So sleepyyyyyyyyyyyyy today, currently not enough sleeppppp, aihzz. Still haven take my mind to go schol or not for tommorow. I don't want to cut my nails la T.T. Keep it for 2 weeks liao le. Cut liao very sam tong de le. haiz. But if i don't scholl ma very borin. See how la XD. Monday don't want go Tuesday go xP.

Huahaaaaaaaa, lazyz-me, plus lazy to wake upppp so earlyyyyyyyy. Wuuuuuuuuuuuu~~
NOthing special today, just went out den eat eat eat eat eat eat come back then sleep for ah hour then watch tvvvvv untill now online, lol.

okluuuuu show load finish le i guessssss, after show den oioi XD. NITEZ

t h e e n d
2259 21/10/07

C-r-a-z-y-z-m-e-~!!!!

2007-10-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

Bubububububuuububububub~~
I guess got 2 days never sign in this le, hehee. B u s y - A.n.i.m.e, DRIVEES PEOPLE CRAZY, ughhhhhhh!!
3 days finish blood+, next romeo x juliet XD. After that must finish nanoha, then i wanna watch ghost huntttxx!!! SYOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! It's really fun to watch anime like crazy, so e n j o y i n XD.

This is my life after pmr, huaha!
W H Y? u jealous ar??? xP

Ehhhhhooooo, tomorrow goin out again, IOI=.=. Never mind, as long as can out, haha, IN LUV WITH MY LIFE NOW!!!

^^

2007-10-15T11:23:00.001-07:00

P h e w z, finally back from johor today. Hehe, didn't get the time to sign in the blogger untill now. Guess what's the time now? 0224 xP. Geng le. Today reached at home at about 4 stg. Came back on awhile den went out again. After dinner and everythin back to home. Tv tv tv. Then online again, chat chat chat. Then Blood+. Now only get the time to sign in this, hehe.

By the way, i'm really happy today^^.我终于和他说回话了。好开心哦！从昨天晚上到现在，我一直都跟他传信息谈天。好久没这样了，真的好高兴哦！（；这种感觉真好，好像回到以前，意志和他吵架的日子。我真的好兴奋呢！我真的真的真的真的好喜欢你哦！！！

B l o o d +

2007-10-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

Chiropteran – is an un-dead monster with a grotesque figure once human, but changed. Lucky there is a secret organization called Red Shield, they exist to hunt down the Chiroptearns and figure out how they come to exist.

It is the year 2003, in Okinawa. A high school girl Otonashi Saya spends her life peacefully with her adopted father George and his two adopted sons Kai and Riku.

Saya cannot seem to remember anything before one year ago.

Her father is strangely visited by a man named David, who seems to be hiding something about himself and Saya.

Finally, she meets Haji, a mysterious figure in a black suite playing a cello. He seems to know a lot about her past, yet is very silent.

On her way back to school to pick up something she forgot, a Chiropertan confronts her and trys to kill her, when Haji comes and saves her and teaches her that only her blood can kill these Chiropertan and the source of the problems.

Trust me it was an awesome anime^^

H a i z

2007-10-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

Another borin day. Whole day just anime anime anime till i forgot myself, even night also dream about anime=.=. BUT IT WAS COOL^^ HAHA!! First time i dreamed that i'm a character of anime and i'm.. erm, POWERFUL. It feels great^^.

Phewwww. So tired, just tidy up my room and everythin today. Now my room looks nice without all those "useless-for-mua-anymore" books. Haha! Two box wasn't enough to keep them=.=. So tirin for just keepin them. Plus, i tidy up my earrings stuff. Gui sei ngo.

Tomorrow goin ioi. Y E A H! I've lookin for gai gai again since the 1u, don't wanna stay at home just online, i will chi sin(;. I wanna buy handfree for mp3 also, can't wait for tomorrow, even its just ioi^^.

Goshhhhhh. Guess what, i feel that my hair long liao=.=. It's a week ago since i cut my hair.. crazy nia.

He on. h a i z. I feel like talkin to him but, don't dare. Don't know why. Teach me what to do la weiii. I wanna ask him somethin bout d lame stufff. But i'm still not brave enough to do so. h a i z. SUAN!!

##

T h e e n d
0025, 12th of october 2007

Meaningless

2007-10-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

忽然好想他哦！
他已不知不觉中，成为我心中的一部分了，怎么也忘不掉。我也已习惯默默的想念他，虽然他想念的可能不是我，但我已经很满意了。只要我默默的想念着他，就已经够了。。。只要我知道他其实还在意我，也已经够了。。。
不知道他现在在干嘛呢？因该在读书吧！我虽然没亲口说出来，但我还是会默默的支持你，加油哦！！！^^

Holidays sibeh sien. Online online online until get scolded. Sleep sleep sleep until get scolded. Eat eat eat until get fatter=.=. Do u know how meaningless is my life now huh? At home sit sit sit till my legs also can feel the boringness.
Now lookin for something else to do, but still didn't get what i actually can do now, haiz. H a i z, today my job is just whole-day-dreammer and listening to songs. Anime also lazy liao, haiz, tell me what can i do other then that?

Just argue with wan ting, about the ioi stuff. Lame. Lazy to explain here, but she's just too.. haiz.. Really hoped to hang out la.!!! Anyone there whoever readin this, CAN JUST PUI ME?? JUST ANYWHERE YOUR WISH!!!I DON'T WANT TO STAY AT HOME PLEASE!!!

##

T h e e n d
2310 Wednesday 10th of September 2007

Hate that i love you - NICE

2007-10-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

That’s how much I love you (yeah)
That’s how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And I can’t stand ya
Must everything you do
make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for awhile
No..

[Ne-Yo:]
but you won’t let me
You upset me girl
and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget
that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it

[Rihanna:]
You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long, that’s wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
Girl, I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (ooh)
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so..

[Ne-Yo:]
[Hate That I Love You lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me..

[Rihanna:]
That’s how much I love you
How much I need you
That’s how much I need you
That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
And I hate that I love you sooo...
And I hate how much I love you boy (Hey)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I can’t stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...ooh)
But I just can’t let you go (But I just can’t let you go, no)
And I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
And I hate that I love you so.. so..

It just sucks.

2007-10-09T05:49:00.000-07:00

Why? Can tell me why?
What do u feel when u are being hate by somebody, and what if the somebody is one of your close friend?

I do not know that she cared it so much. I do not know that she don't like more people to be together. Isn't that she DON'T LIKE ME? Or what? I'm just wondering.
What's she jealous on? It's just, weird. Why she does not like me to be with her? Why? Why she do not like me to close with her? WHY? G o s h ! Lately i found out, sometimes friends are sucks.I'm always tryin my best to get everythin better, but it always end up with an.. argue?

##

T h e e n d
2056, 9th of September 2007

The Sien Life *

2007-10-07T01:47:00.000-07:00

What a borin day i have today, stick to the pc almost whole day, SO SIEN!!!

HUAHAHAHAHAH, had a hair cut today. SHORT SHORT SHORT!!! Try new thing ma. But never mind, i like it xP. I feel so 'light' now, haha. Pearl cut hers too, almost the same style as me, just that her want longer. Wan ting cut liao = never cut=.=. Looks like same only.

Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh, still never gain the chance to chat with him. Just, don't feel like, don't know why. Whatever, don't wanna disturb him for now.
But actually, i'm feelin even better now. Just that sometimes i will miss him very suddenly. But others of all, it's still ok for me. At least, i never feel "san fu" anymore. I enjoy it even i'm missin him.

"shang fu kap"
Hmm, feel so "heng song" now. HOU HENG SONG AR. I'm thinkin, what is my next plan now. I'm too free till its borin=.=. Nothing to do pun, just online online, then anime anime, then eat eat sleep sleep. i've hoped i got something else to do la wei.
The life after pmr. It's wat i 've been waiting so long to reach, but now, really nothing to do la haiz. I wish to back to school now, at least got friends to accompany me.

##

T h e e n d
1700, Sunday, 7th of October 2007

Cancerian, it's exactly me huh:?

2007-10-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

JU LY=ATTITUDE
outgo ing personality. takes risks.
feeds on
attention. no self control. kind
hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY
revengeful.& amp; lt;BReasy to get along
with
and talk to. has
an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking
and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily
distracted . Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination.
love s to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that
someone".lo ngs for freedom. rebellious
whenwi thheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain"
caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious.
"char ming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn.
curious .
independent. strong willed. a fighter.

I Think of You

2007-10-06T03:54:00.000-07:00

I've been hearing this song over and over again today. Its just, NICE. It have a nice lyrics. That's why i'm so in luv with this song.

When I'm down and all alone
When nothing seems to matter
When I lose my hope
When I'm sad and confused
When it all gets turned around and 'round
I can't seem to reach for solid ground
When everything I've believed in seems untrue
All I have to do

[Chorus]
Is think of you
I think of you and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

Now I know what love means
And whatever life may hold for me
Through the fire
Through the rain I believe

Cause there's nothing I can't bear
Knowing that you will be there
If I fall I won't break
Through it all I'll make it through
Cause all I have to do

[Chorus]
And when I think I'm all alone
I can't see the way to go
Lost in the rain of my own tears
To wash away the pain and fear

[Chorus]
For the good times and the bad times
I just think of you
Cause you know you get the best of me
I just think of you

Went to 1U^^

2007-10-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

WOOHOO~~
Went back from 1U. Even it's abit borin xP, but counted fun la. After 1 month exam-in, finally can hang out with friends HEHE. Great huh? I'm so surprised that pearl went with us XD.

We watch a movie call 'hairspray'. It's type of dancing, watch til kinda high. The first time i watch a movie, the whole room of people shout together, SO HIGH, LETS GET HIGH!!

Anyway, just signed in for fun, nothing special to write now. Gonna tv luuu, BUAIX

SYOKNYA

2007-10-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
PMR IS OVER, WE ARE FREE NOW!!!!

Wow just feel so excited(:, but in fact i very scare too, haiz. Before pmr scare after also scare, i scare my geografi cant score A ar, careless like idiot T.T. Now the folio is my only hope le.

Whatever. At least it's over, i don't have to study now=). MUAHAHA, now it's my time to see people study, i can do anything i want, I'VE GOT A LOT OF CRAZY PLANNING, I'M GOING NUTSSSSSSSSS....

First of all, HAVE A HAIR CUT!!
Secondly, TV AND ANIME & NON-STOP WATCHING SHOWS.
Next, GO SHOPPIN AND SHOPPIN AND MOVIE, if got member la xP.

The first 3 planning i can think of now, still got alot la XD

BUT LATER GOIN TO 1U AR!!! SYOKNYAAAA~~~

The fishest day=.=

2007-09-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

G.o.s.h, today is the fishest day in my life. Maybe i'm too nervous, i almost forget today is goin to sit pmr=.=. At home that time, nervous nervous nervous, scare scare scare, then reached schol, straight away go up to class=.=, what the !@#$%^&*()-+. Then when i walked down, i found out i went out cause i wanna take a notebook that i left inside my class, THEN, went up again to take it, FISH RIGHT??? O h m y g o d!!

HAIZ, today BM, comfirmed no A liao la T.T. Damn it, hard like shit, spotted karangan all didn't come out also, somemore say from Wahab want sure come out wor=.= WHAT THE..

Suan liao ba, at least i can throw away my BM book now!!!!!
But later have to study science and BI, haiz, damn damn damn. SCIENCE, the hardest of all after BM, haiz..

JIU MIN AR!!!

CALM DOWN!!

2007-09-30T15:04:00.001-07:00

Woohoo~~
woke up at tepat tepat 5 in the morning, don't ask me why, ask my brain. I very nervous la wei. I'm tryin myself to calm down, but now better la +)
Later wanna sleep awhile more, scare not enouf sleep, yesterday plan to sleep at nine but lastly slept at 11=.=. Really can't sleep ma.

Brushed my teeths; washed my face; wore my clothes;
everything is ok now, excepy myself.
OK, just don't be so worry la ruby tang yee theng, am i tryin to give myself some consolation?=.=.

Chao lo,
ALL THE BEST FOR ME OK?
WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

##
shooted by
bBz

0608, Monday, 1st of october 2007

What should i do?

2007-09-29T04:34:00.000-07:00

Haiz, suddenly very scare. I scare i can't do well in my BM paper la. =.=, damn the BM, how good if we don't have to study BM, haiz.

Wrote some karangans today, the jenayah thing i used 2 hours to finish man=.=. Really can't think of the point la. Very scare if PMR also like that. Haiz. Later somemore have to study about the novel part, h e a d a c h e. BM SUCKS MAN!!! Really scare i can't score an A for it X_x, just wish myself luck.

##

I really don't understand what my brain thinking through now, at this so nervous moment and it's the last chance-study moment, suddenly i very miss him. How good if he wish me again and give me confidence? How good if he message me and sayin supports me? How good if i can chat with him and decrease my nervous-ness? How good if he is beside me? How good if i'm huggin him? GOSH i'm just thinkin too much. I promised myself not to think too much, and now i SHOULD NOT think of all these things!!! ARGH, wish to shout hardly now. HELP ME??? I miss him so much.

Truly by,
M.E

T h e e n d
1947, Saturday, 19th of September

LETS'S PASS WITH FLYIN COLOUS!!

2007-09-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

Just came back from school, or i should say just back from drinks with friends. We went the Penang's restaurant just now for a drink. A whole gang of people, 10+,cool, huh? I hink it's more, with UM's people also. haha yea, even it's just awhile but we havin fun. Talkin and jokin around. Maybe it's a way for us to relax before the PMR, 3 days more then we have to face it. Don't know why, even that i'm not ready yet, but i feel so excited man. Lolx, i hoped it can come faster and i can drop it faster.

My classmates are crazy. They are goin to badminton later i think if didn't cancel=.=. Swt. siaox la. But today l lazy to read the book and practise again, even i'm forced to, if i want good results. LET'S PASS WITH FLYIN COLOUS GUYS, all the best for u all and thanks for everyone1's wishes!! Wah suddenly feel like sleepin tim=.=. Never mind later go sleep. Haha xP.

I planned not to study on Sunday. The last day should relax and relax, to cool down myself. The best way is online xP, haha see first la.

Ok la, nothin much to write today, just wish me luck yea!!!

##

T h e e n d
1235, Friday, 29th of september

Me of today

2007-09-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

Oh my god, it's just few days ago and i'm sitting here online huh??
Whatever, i should'nt study too much, it makes me feel more even stress, not from parents, but me myself.
I'm tryin my best to do everythin i can, but don't know why, i just cant concentrate on doing my things, example like when i'm studyin, my brain wanted to study but my heart does'nt want to. Now it's days ago, and i'm feelin nothing but nervous. The first day then is the worst subject of all, BM. Even the seminar teacher is giving me a lot of confidence but, i still don't think i can score a A for it. I really hoped to. I hoped everything would be perfect. I hoped pmr can pass faster. I hoped this and that. But what's the point for me to hope? It's so impossible for my target.

"Ok just stop thinkin everyhin and try to be relax"
a message for me and myself.

##

I don't know what's on my mind and don't know what am i thinkin through, but i knew, it's impossible to forget everything about him, even i'm tryin my best to.
Sometimes i blamed myself for such stupidness, there was a lot of chance for me to give up, but i didn't choose to. I just hope to be just like now, nothing but just nothing, i don't want a bf now, i don't need to. I knew i can't. And i didn't hope to be like last time, maybe now is the best for me, who knows? i just hoped us to be happy with our life now. I just want to like him. Just, like. Purely. Maybe i wasn't suppose to fall in love with him, and he doesn't suppose to mean that much to me. But i don't mind it. I knew what am i doin. Maybe u guys will think i'm the idiot. But it's really ok for me. I didn't mean to want anything from him, not even a single thing, just let his life goes on as he wants, then it's enough. 顺其自然 is the best way ever. Cause i'm glad with my life now, even just to like him.

T h e e n d
0015, Friday, 28th of September

Juz some crapz

2007-09-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

H a i z . . . so tired of studyin man=.= . . .everyday fill up with books, bedroom full of books, messy like hell=.=, tomorrow sure kena mummy scold, damn. Few days never on only, but feel like very very long never on=.=, swt.

Last Sunday's BM seminar was GREAT man. The cikgu Wahab, the best BM teacher that i ever met. He is, uhm, cute??haha yea he is cute!!! No matter how many hours he talk i surely won't sleep, somemore laugh like hell lolx. Never thought that the worst subject for me but it's the best teacher and best seminar. S Y O K. . Fully hoped that my BM can score A, even it's kinda impossible x(, u know me la, BM cha like shit, if can get C in my class means very geng liao, i think only those indians can get a B in my class, really hard la X_x !!

Not goin to school tommorow. Plan to study science, a lot of bloody things to study also, damn la. The seminar teacher didn't tell us much what to study also, haiz, don't know where should i start with. Whatever, tommorow only see la=.=. But first of all i want to sleep till late late tommorow xP syoknya, very long never do so. I need an enough sleep.

Y e a h ! ! ! This Saturday got extra geo seminar, the teacher gave us FOC!!! The cikgu mahendran, something like that if i didn't spell wrong, he too kind la, he is the second best teacher from the seminar, luv him luv him, lolx. Sunday got extra sej also=.=, but not seminar, lazy la. Plan to badminton on that day la, kakacau saje the extra class, last day should rest ma=.=.

W o o h o o , done crappin, it's like i'm sayin my plannin swt

A R G H ! ! i wanna watch 舞动全城 so desperately la!!!!
Luv the songs so much
*I'm so in luv with u 以后连在一起不管身份爱着你换上这一份情的美
i'm so in luv with u 以后连在一起今生都只抱着你在世间投入爱也因你。

OMG NICE LYRICS!!!

T h e e n d,
0059, Wednesday, 27 September

Today and so on

2007-09-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

So tired at this stupid moment, don't plan to study already, so tired, my eyes are gonna close when i read the kh book, those alatan alatan drives me crazy, a lot of things such like account, paip paip and electronic i hate it so much, sometimes i wonder whats the point for girls to study electronic and those paip thing, whats the point of studying? isn't it lame huh? For me it is=.=..and those stupid account, kunci kira kira la, simpan kira la, kira until i sot, dumb man.

Spent my whole afternoon for the seminar, 6 hours of studying, but well, it's kinda fun, i luv those teachers, they're from jabatan peperiksaan wan, and their teaching skill is cool, thats why i say its fun. Even how many hours they talk i won't feel borin and never sleepy, there's the power of them, and it's the first time that the time can past so fast for me even it's 6 hours of studying, but not include the resting time la. But tommorrow is the most boring subject and the worst subject of all, BM=.=, it's oso my favourite subject sejarah, G R E A T. And plus, tommorow got extra tutor talk, got physically doctor come to the centre and give us advice at what stream we should enter and, what type of people are we. Same thing, from 9 til 4 something i guess for tomorrow, but i hoped can stay longer, don't feel like staying at home.

Oh yeah, bought a new clothe today. It't a whole jeans. But the pant part does't fit me, upper part loose lik hell=.=, have to change it next week, 35 bucks, not cheap but not expensive too for me, cause too long din buy new clothe ma..haha stupid, lolx..

Awhile more time to sleep, eyes trying to close now=.=, afternoon sleep so long but the eyes still so lousy, swt.

###

现在的我，已经没有再想什么了，我只想一直喜欢他，直到有一天我真的忘记了他。
但我已好久好久，没跟他说话了，忽然好怀念，以前我们每天一直谈天，从早谈到晚的时光。虽然应该只有一个月，或少过吧没和他一起罢了，但这短短的一个月，对我来说，真的好长，好长……就好像一年那么长。有时，无论我再做什么，我很自然的就会想起他。但我伤心时，我也会想起他，这就好像是自然反应，好像想念他已经成为我生活的一部分了。在这一秒钟内，我真的好想好想好想，紧紧地抱着他，不说话，一直那样抱着他，但这也只是我在发梦而已。
我和他的开始，就好像一场梦，来得快，去得也快。我不知道以后会如何，现在我只想专注学业，pmr很快要来了，我不知道我可不可以放下他，但至少，我希望现在的我不会被他影响。希望我能做到吧！或许她不知道，他对我的影响可以那么深，那么深……
好希望快点考完试呢，他之前答应过会陪我出街，不知道他会遵守诺言吗？但我还是好期待啊！

###

Th e e n d
2326, 22th of september, saturday

E X A M

2007-09-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

Exam exam exam exam exam
study study study study study
i'm so tired man
everyday exam only, brain gonna burst...haizzz...

study what shit la, don't want study la...T.T
D A M N

H A I Z

2007-09-16T08:32:00.001-07:00

Back to school tomorrow, a bit lazy, but desperate to back too...
Lolx so weird xP... but tomorrow have to face the damn results arr haizz...

Rest for 3 days already, time to study back=.=...SO L A Z Y !!! h a i z z z
but it's just 2 weeks ago...CHAM

Planned to cut my hair...SO DESPERATELY!!!!I WAN CUT MY HAIR!!!I WAN DRESS OUT!!!!I WAN GO GAI GAI!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Just one of my plan after pmr, now what i have to do is wait wait wait wait wait study study study studyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! T.T
2 weeeeeeeeeeksssssss, seems to be long but short... REALI PANIC LA!!!

“ 忽隐忽现的爱情，我不想继续下去了，我只想默默的喜欢你，可以吗？”

2007-09-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

“ 忽隐忽现的爱情，我不想继续下去了，我只想默默的喜欢你，可以吗？”
A message appeared on my mind *** And i took my mind to do that.

Thought, it's too difficuit to forget him, that's why i choose not to, maybe i will feel better doing that. Hope yes, anyway.

Maybe i got a little single feelings towards him, LOL, well, he is...uhm, not bad xP
A D D O I L XD

Finallt the trials are over... P H E W , no more trials, but the normal exams =.=
DOINK''''''''''''''''''
2 more weeks to pmr, i'm really scared...

Study suckssss >.<

2007-09-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

Trial trial and trialsssssssssssssssss .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...
I can't stand anymore, i have to get a rest. p h e w w . . Luckily my mum gave me back my modem, thanks god. . .

So tired, woke up early in the morning, STUDY. Then rest, then study, then rest, then study, then ON9!!!! H a i z , feel like hugging him, i can't control myself to miss him, even i'd tried to, but it never works. It will just made me miss him more. I'm suffering while i'm trying to forget him, i'm suffering while i'm trying my best to like another person.

Well, just hoped i can concentrate more on my pmr, for now.
Monday, M.A.T.H.S ~ Shit!!
Indices suckssssssssssssss!!
Study suckssssssssssssssssss!!

H a i z . . .

Should i?

2007-09-02T06:34:00.000-07:00

S I C K O F E V E R Y T H I N G . . .
I feeling not well now, am i thinkin too much??
Maybe, it's my problem. I'm feeing so xin ku, wo hao xiang ku ar!!!
Saw someone's message today,
如果没办法忘记他，就不要忘记好了。真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。
Should i, should i follow what he said?

Damn myself

2007-09-01T19:17:00.000-07:00

Itchy itchy ITCHY !!!!!
Damn la, forehead itchy like shit=.=, i wanna see skin doctor la, when only my parents will be free and bring me there??=.=

Just woke up an hour ago, at 9.10, so early, LOL. But slept at 1 something, crazy la me.
lolxxxx

DAMN MYSELF, 2 days ago, i messaged him accidently, luckily he didn't reply me, P H E W, or else. . . . .H.a.i.z.
But, haiz, i can't control myself to miss him again, G O S H ! !
For the first week, yess, i really thought myself did forget him, don't really think of him, and don't feel like talking to him. But now i know, i don't want to, it's because, i.s.c.a.r.e., i scare, we will not talk like normal; i scare, we wil quarrel. Just scare of everything. I don't want to lose him. See, i broke my promise again. Whatever, i still wanna "fang xia" him, at least, for now.
I will settle it after pmr, add oil for myself.

Nowadays kinda close to xxx. Haha, he is fun. Whatever.

3 days can on. Then on like crazy lol, after today no more on9. Sob Sob T.T

30 MORE DAYS TO REACH PMR!!!!

School's restart

2007-08-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

Oh God, guess wat huh?? i'm still on(;
hoho, lazy to practise, just now took out the book, den straight away keep it again=.=
YEE THENG AR, u're so damn >.<"' *sweat*
11.05 p.m
i'm kinda sleepy now, Gosh, i slept almost 4 hours today but still tired, what kind of people-me????=.=

Nothing much to write...today's school restart, lazy like hell, don't really have the mood to study,
stil in the blurblur mood... today whole day tv only, "fo mou wong sha", nice show (;
cause got charmaine sheh ma xP...

Woohoo, i think i really took up my mind, i never message him today, and surely the upcoming month, =)... No no no and NO !!!!
+ i will try not to message so often, of else sure send wrong =.="",
hey hey don't look at me, not my wish la, *swt*

I WANNA PLAY BADMINTON!!!!
don't know why suddenly so into it again lol
even i'm noob for it haha,
never mind, just enjoy it (;
I LUV U GUYS^^ muaxxxxxxxx*****
i luv my classmates ((((::;;

BE HAPPY ALWAYS YEA !!!!

2007-08-26T06:43:00.001-07:00

At the end, i took my mind to forget everything about him, everything related to him.
Don't ask me why, i don't know, just, FEEL LIK, it's time for over...
He still don't know anything, i guess, and i choose to end up now, maybe it's good for we both,
Maybe it'll be better if we're friends, of maybe we can start over again after everything,
Who knows right ??? Nobody knows (;
Well, it's not that difficuit what, i guess, hehe, feel not so "san fu" now, somemore comfortable, it's like i put down a heavy burden, yeah rite (;
SO this time, I REALLY PROMISE WONT HIM FOR TIL THE END OF PMR, well just besides if i really have to (; , but i wont be long also la, trust me..AND I WILL TRY MY BEST NOT TO SEND WRONG MESSAGE TO HIM!!! This is what i always did=.=, and don't ask me why, ask my fingers (;....
hmm, plus, it's a good chance for others and myself, WOOHOO, what am i sayin??haha
Whatever, i took my mind, just put down him for now,
Things always change around, maybe we can be better after this? right??hmm...
Oh sweat, it's like i'm giving reasons why i choose to give up him, =.= DUMB...
HEHHEH (;

Ok that part is over
Now i have to face another problem );
IT'S...............
MY FACE
HAVE
MORE
AND
MORE
PIMPLES!!!!
T______T
My dad said have to bring me to see the skin doctor, ahha,
question: IS IT THAT SERIOUS MAN???
answer: YES IT IS !!
OMG, i wonder how my face, actually not face la it's forehead, a lot of bloody pimples, somemore it's itchy like shit, WHEN ONLY CAN GET RID OF THOSE STUPID PIMPLES HUH???
Damn la RUBY TANG YEE THENG =.=

OK, let's face another MORE SERIOUS problem
36 DAYS TO REACH PMR,
SHIT MAN~!!!!!!
So, i took my mind for another thing,
later wanna pass the modem to my mum,
dumb huh???
yeah actually i feel so....*shy shy*
hehe, no la, if not i will just on and on and on
won't concentrate on studying,
SO,
AFTER TODAY, i'm not able to on after the end of PMR, (;
and, I'M GONNA MISS U ANIME T_T, just done Nanoha A'S today,
next, the strikers, WAIT FOR ME YEAH AFTER PMR (;
Yeah rite, i wanna cruel to myself, if i continue lik this, i wonder what the result is );
hohhohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho

Lastly,
just wanna say
BE HAPPY ALWAYS YEA !!!!

DUMBZ ME

2007-08-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

Ishhhhhhh***
*Yawn yawn n YAWN*~~sleepy comes ahead, again...
Juz bak from holiday programme, science and maths...
12.40pm...mayb its a right time to sleep, but i dun feel like sleepin..LOLX

TUTTT~~
Oh dude, he's on, but dun feel lik chattin with him too...
Siaoz-me,,,lolxx

Haiz...same thing,,, i'm so confused X(...
Shud i, reject him for him???
i knew, i knew i cant luv him, but...
Shud i giv up such a good him, juz for him???DUMB
And i knew, it's really stupid for waitin some1 so long
some1...shudn't realy care bout you,
some1...who treats you "hu len hu ri"
some1...who hurts you deeply
But on the opposite,
well he is,
some1...who i love very much...
some1...who i thinks everyday, misses everyday, every moment...
O M G
X_X...
i very san fu la..
i already missed many chances for him
even it's the perfect guy that i ever met
How good if i never meet him in my life...
How good if i never knew him
How good if i'm from different school
How good if i doesn't know him
Maybe if every ifs' add together
I'm the happiest girl in the world
Oh gosh, why treats me like that T.T

Shooted by
DUMBZ ME
12.56pm

Damn it *

2007-08-21T02:43:00.000-07:00

Damn it***
ishhhh....juz study for awhile today...samore juz sejarah...
Woohoo~~i wna watch anime!!!!
Yiiiiiiiiiii...promise my mum kenot watch =
Pmr sux la...kenot do dis kenot do tat kenot hang out...=(

OH GREAT
Tonight gonna stay at wan ting's house...
Its goin to be my 1st time to stay at her house =)...even through its juz a night ba liao...

Eh eh eh...
He didn't on...
**disappointed**
isn't he scare of me???
am i annoyin him???
is it i find him too much???
IS IT???
The conclusion is
____No answer____

D A M N I T

clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu clu

++headache++

2007-08-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

Woohoo...ruby tang...a girl tat broke her own promise 2day...
well i nvr study for 2day...bsides for holiday programme...
i feel sux for it...i woke up at 10, on the phone wit my dearly pearl...for an hour i guess...after of all slept again til 1...whn woke up...tat was reali headache n my head is gna burst...til den...i din study...hav a lunch n after everythin i watch tv[which add up my headache]...den i hav a rest...dearly called me again...v tok nonsense for another hour...
N its time for tuition =

Done tuition..
bak from centre...i had my dinner...
after dinner...continue headache...den my mums went out...
n the 1st thing i do is
guess wat...dunno???
ON9 la duhh
Or else...who the hell is writin dis lamest blog??!!??
ok watever izzit...
sleepiness comes ahead...im gna faint...
juz waitin for d song to load finish...FASTER LARRR...!!!!!
n dis time, i reali promise myself...tmrw even wat happen..
i hav to study..no matter how...no matter wat...
ok tats all for 2day...dun wna tok much...
buaixxxxx

watever

2007-08-12T03:30:00.000-07:00

Hmm...tmrw trial exam lo...i dun wna care liao la
study too much later brain wil burst...kekex
msgin wit him...so happie...
HAHA
muaxxmuaxx

+ - + - +

2007-07-31T07:50:00.000-07:00

Im so dunno how to do....dunno wats my feelin now....very complicated....
haiz
Missin him more n more n more n more n more n more n more....
keep on think bak last timeeeeeee....how good if times can go bakkkkkk...
Im stil very scare to c himm... whn he suddenly appear in fron of me...my 1st mind is faster run...dun wna c him...
Congraz to pearl she's on the way to 4get yx...n its goin good...jia youuuu...hope i can do it too la..
x(