Can u hear me?

Sleepin.. sleepin.. and sleepin..
Damn sleepy recently. Whenever i'm boring or nothing to do. My brain only call me to sleep. Dont noe why=.=. I slept at 10 yesterday. But today still wanna sleep. When i see the book then i'll feel sleepy again. Sei lo.. I wanna study man. But how am i gonna study in this condition?? in sleepy mood plus, hell missin him again.. Why?? haix.

Dreamin and dreamin. These days i keep thinkin of those pictures, when he is beside me. But where is him now? where is him now? I dont noe what i gonna do. But i will surely settle this after exam. I noe i said is zillion times ago but in fact i haven ready yet. Well, is not that i wanna broke my promise, but i really dont noe how to say. But i noe, i will regret if i still dont dare to say.

How much i wannt shout,
I-L-0-V-E-U-S-O-M-U-C-H!!!
Can u hear it???
oh pls, dont be so cruel to me. I just need u.....



1830

I-f-e-e-l-s-o-?

Days by days, it's passin really fast. Fast till i can't even catch it. I don't want it to over that fastt, please..

Went jade's house today. We, which include wan ting and pearl, chat alot of things today. I even cried. I just sad, and feel very pityful for her. I just wanna tell her, no matter what, she is still my friend, and this will never change.

Miss him damn siao today. Don't know why >.<. I wanted to see him now, i need a hug, so muchh. I can't believe i'm writin about him again. Because i had a promise to myself, and now i can't do it. Hell... I really don't know what so good about him, i'm goin to give up but things haven go up yet, i seems to miss him sooo muchh when the time comes, or whenever i see him, because i can't even control myself. I need him badly now.. BADLY..

Hiiiiiiiiii~~

It's since SOOOOOOOO longggggggg i never sign in this blog recently, LOL. Well, i just have nothin to do and gonna leave somethin here.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tommorow, exam again. Damn sien, BM BC. I'm hell not in mood to study anythin for this stupidly ass monthly test, duh, lazy. And i'm ready to accept the feelings when i got my results. But i have no feelin with that, even i think about when i'm gonna fail every single of my subject. Aiya don't care la, I just wanna rest for this monthly test.

Sleepy, and sleepy. Sometimes i wonder am i sleepin but while i'm not? I can feel that the bed is touchin me but actually i'm just dreamin, damn crazy la these days=.=, i gonna get mentally problem le u noe zzz. Sot, everyday think of nonsense and useless things.

Problems, problems, and problems. Damn headache. I don't know what to do. Everyday everytime everythin is changin in every seconds. Nobody noes what will happen next. And i doubt, why do everybody can be like, "fax-machine-in-da-office"? It means, human's face can be changin really fast in front of different people, just lik the fax machine in, erm example my mum's office? The paper is keep faxin and faxin non-stop, receivin and sendin papers to others. Just like humans, gettin and givin things but in the fake way. Well i don't noe what am i crappin here=.=, but it's time to go, so BYE. I will visit u more oftenly if i can=). BYE MY DEAR BLOGIE!


2332

zzzz...

Don't know how to describe my mood now. Very complicated. Want cry but can't cry. I just don't feel well today. Anyway, i'm lazy on bloggin now, sign in for fun only.. zzzzzzz.

Tian jiu jiu wo ba!!!

Schol reopen, again.
Back to the borin and busy life. Tuition; homeworks; activities, etc.
Anyway, i'm really not in mood to study yet. There's still a lot of things i haven settle yet. I can't concentrate on studyin before i settlin those problems. haix. TIAN ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

The Nin Chor Yi

Nin chor yi ady.
Damn sien. Yesterday whole day go people's house bai nian. Listen those relatives takin crap. Zzz.. Really borin u know? Plus this year nobody sms with me. I sit there really like sho po only. haix, kelian. Later somemore going back to gemas, cham lurhhhh, i will sien till !@#$$%^^&&*(()+-=!!!!

Gtg lurrrrrrhh.. daddy scoldin, haven write finish also, haixx...
BYEBYE


1250

CNY?

The air around me is tellin.. CNY is gettin closer and closer. But anyway, i don't really smell the feelin of CNY. Unlike last year, before CNY i will be very very happy but now i didn't feel anythin special. CNY den CNY la, so what? It's just a chinese festival to get angpaus or money or meet people. And the fact is i don't even wish the CNY to come, after CNY then have to face the first term exam. Haixxx. I really scare i will fail everythin la. G o s h. It's just a week.

He don't seemz wanna talk with me anymore. Sadzz. Am i that irritatin? or annoyin? Makes him don't wanna talk with me. Right? haixxx. I'm so sad. Think back last year's today. I might be sms-in with him till midnight.. Really really miss that time. haixxxxxxxxx.....

Luv or not?

Awww.. just went back from tuition class den online.. damn lazy to do homeworks la.. wat hell peka and article.. damn lazy to do liao.. Not going to do ady, just leave it there suan le.

I'm startin to confuse about my feelings again. H.e.l.l. Sometimes i will luv him to death. Sometimes i don't really miss him. Wth am i thinkin? Sometimes i think it's not worth to like him anymore, then i will just forget him and like another one. But when it comes, i will just miss and miss and miss him till die. How ar???????? haix. Anyways, i really hope i can like another one lo.

My case and pearl's are similar again. Coolman. Everytime also like that, zha. s t u p i d x .

So, ai ta? hai shi ta?


1909

P a i n

Sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick...
pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain
T_______T..

Raining..

"Raining.. raining and raining.. my mood just as the weather now.."
What i typed for my personal message today. truth. i feel so moody now. Miss him damn much. He might be not at home now, maybe havin fun at somewhere with other people. I just miss him to death u know? Could u understand how much i miss him?
Tonight will be my lonely night. Parents went out for dinner, brother not at home.. What can i do for tonight? i just feel like hanging out and don't want to sit at home to feel the loneliness. But where can i go alone? i don't feel like doing those stupid homework la.. haix..

Save me...?
Really miss him.

答案？？？

绕了这么大的一圈。。。我发觉，我喜欢的始终都是他。。。
我真的以为。。。真的以为。。。我已经放弃了他。那段时间里，我的确没有想起他，也没有想念他。。。
但然而，那段时间里，我却觉得有点空虚。。。终觉得缺少了一样东西。。。直到现在我才发觉，我其实根本没有放弃他。。。就算我喜欢上其他人，我对他还是会有感觉。。。而现在的我，也越来越喜欢他。。。喜欢他有错吗？？？我决定了，无论如何，这件事还是该解决，我不能这样下去。。。一直为他浪费时间。不然我永远也放不下他。。。这件事还是该有个答案。。。


2015

爱在记忆中找你

我对你 这一生 哪个可比
我与你 差一些 永远一起
邂逅时间场地 似连场好戏
要自何页说起 Wow Ho

爱太重 深呼吸 欠缺空气
爱太美轻轻的 却载不起
爱情来到时候 似明媚天气
它走了 突然骤变雪落雨飞

*如果可以恨你 全力痛恨你
连遇上亦要躲避
无非想放下你 还是挂念你
谁又会及我伤悲
前事最怕有人提起 就算怎麽伸尽手臂
我们亦有一些距离*

你太远 该怎麽 说对不起
你太近 一转身 却已高飞
快乐也酗　u 似场流星雨
一眨眼 就如幻觉怕又记起

REPEAT**

我情愿我狠心憎你 我还在记忆中找你

Sukan tara.

First day of sukan tara.
Today damn yu la high jump =.=, very stupid de wor, everybody came out liao only jump, damn damn yu. Somemore knocked my elbow, last year leg dis year elbow, STUPID.
Btw, the lompat jauh is kinda fun XD. haha. i wanna try again larrrrr!!!
Tomorrow will be whole day at field, COW, sunburn again..
But YEAHHHH.. tmrw run no need jump anymore XD.

I'm scare, really scare i will fall for him again. Today saw him so many times, and my responds was..? don't know how to say. Just that if suddenly saw him there den will get shocked. Haix, maybe i haven forget him for 100%, i think i should give myself some times to forget him completely. Hope sooo laaa. I hope i will never fall deeply again, since i used so much time to forget it and it seemz to work. BUt however, i knew it's not that easy to. Everytime i forgot him dy after days sure will like him again. Now i also startin to feel like findin him again. NOOOOO!!! have to yan yan yan!!! DAMN??!!?? Then means i mai forever also cannot get rid?

HOLY~~~


2215

D-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e-l-y..

Another boring-ass-day.
Back from schol, haven even sleep for an hour then rush to tuition. Somemore chemistery and add maths. ISHH~~ so sienz. Sick of studyin.

Tomorrow sukan tara. Damn helly lazy to go. Just feel like sleepin gao gao only. Damn hate to lompat tinggi. H-E-L-L-a-s-s! Haix, but i have to go too eventhought how don't want of my mind.

Sick sick sick. Don't know why just not feelin well. Mentally i mean. Many things inside of me can't be relief. I-n-e-e-d-l-u-v! u know luv? i mean i need MORE luvs.
Don't be selfish, just give me some, k? K???

D-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e-l-y..
ASSDAY!


2228

Just as usual.

Awww~~ T i r e d~~ Just went back from bio class, later somemore got EST essay have to write, haix. Don't know how to start with, damn lazy, and headache.

I think.. i really didn't like him that much ady. Or should say i don't know whether i'm still likin him or not. No idea. And most probably is because i fell for another one? is it? However, i'm sick and sick and really sick of thinkin this ady. Whatever happens, just happen ba. Maybe forgot him is such-a-get-rid for me. Yeah!

New year is comin so soon. Yesterday i had bought some new clothes, and a pair of shoes, all together cost about 150 bucks i guess. @.@. Pathatic la my parents, no money ady. Anyways, i damn like the red colour singlet shirt with the REALLY SHORT's black skirt. And another two shirt ish somethin in pinkish and greyish., with a HOLY-EVEN-SHORTER skirt, in green colour. DAMN NICE XD. Appreciate.

Clothes are over. Now, back to usual, W910I! I'm luvin this phone more and more and more. DAMN LENG ZHAI LA. He is slimmer then the models and more leng zhai then the leng zhais. COW! The ap price for it ish about 1230. But, i think i can only have it after CNY. Really pity my parents for using so much money at this CNY. So, i have to wait patiently.. RAWR!!!

k lo, stomach callin me XD. Buai yea!

What am i thinkin?

L.o.v.e?
What is love?
Missin someone every moments, from morning to night. No matter u're eatin, bathin, watchin tv, online, doing homework, exercisin, hangin out, or doing anythin?
So this is love? Is it?

I did luv him that much. Before this week i'm still luvin him into death. I can't find a second where i'm not missin him. Especially when i'm sad.

But now. I really don't know what's happening on me. I just don't have the feelin of "luvin him to death" anymore. Maybe u may say that i'm still likin him. But i don't have the feelin of missin him much much much untill i cannot stand, just like, 1 week before. Just don't know why. And this is the first time i feel so "not miss him." But however, i think, i still crushin him? And i'm wonder, should i tell him? Since i don't like him that much ady. She said that at least i must know the answer, about what he thinkin. Since i crushin him for a year and more. But i'm startin to scare, what if i suddenly don't like him ady just like now after tellin him? Maybe i.. Like another person? is it?

Well, i have to accept that. "he".. is really a great guy. Counted as handsome, smart. And the most important is, when i ever need someone, he was there and worried about me. I felt a little touchin. I don't know whether is it i fell for him. I don't know whether he got feelings towards me or not. But, i felt very warm for it. Maybe i need love too much. There is so long.. so long i never gain any love from someone, besides my family la. So i'm really happy for his concern. Maybe i luv "him" too much before and i felt tired ady, so i wanna try to be loved by another person? Or i think i'm too sick of his cold-blooded attitude? Since last year, he changed really much. He is not the person i ever crushed anymore. He spoiled my mood everytime. Arguin with him made me felt worse. He don't really concern me that much ady. Everytime i felt so soo hurt for it. But he just acts like nothin. I knew, and i knew he's pressin his real feelings down. I too liu gai him. He don't want others to see through what he thinkin. But this made me felt sicks.

The conclusin is, i'm confused. About what i thinkin now.

Friendship stands for bullshit?

Completely hurted.
What friendship stands for? BULLSHIT? izzit?
I cant imagine how sad am i now. Could u imagine what if your 'so-called-friends, hate u behind of u? They dislike u actualy? I'm really pissed. This is the first time i ever felt so hurt for it. Is it my fault? MY FAULT? i can't think of anythin now..

duu.

Another tiring day.
Went to ioi today, duh? with them again lor. Movie la, eat la..... and so on.

Lately, i found out somethin.
I'm not ready for it now. Too tired of luvin people. Now i just wanna rest, and enjoy the feelin of not luvin anyone, the freedom. I don't want to care anymore.


2222

Form4 sucks.

Tired. Just back from bloody tuition. And there's damn a lot of homework waitin for me. Sighz~~ Science stream wor, haven a month but i feel lik changin stream ady. Fed up. So many subjects and damn a lot of homeworks. Don't even have enough time to do. Tuition also got homeworks. Koko cannot que xi. ARGHHHHH!!! I gonna burst man! gila ady. AWW.

Saw him many times at school today. My sight just can't get away from him when i saw him. But somehow i scare to let him know when i'm lookin for him too. LOL. Awwww, can see can't touch. MISS U DAMN MUCH NOW. This is the second time ady. I on then he off. Maybe i'm too sensitive. WHATEVER. Just feel like huggin him.

And really can't predict. Pearl and me, actually using a same ??? towards others? haha. COOLMAN.


2020

Merentas desa~

Merentas desa!
I guess this is the first year that i take it as seriously on it after stepped to secondary school. LOL. haha.
Just abit more to reach top 10. Sibeh disappointed. haixx. Next year more impossible to get ady. JIA YOU BA.
I saw xxx while runnin. His runnin look was CUTE. haha. That time i no more stamina ady one, then stop for a moment. BUt after seein him then run with him XD. Even he didn't notice me i guess but i stil runnin behind him. SYOK to run behind a leng zhai. HAHA.
But no matter how leng zhai he is, my sight will just actomaticlly move to him if he is around. Sigh~~ Just don't know why. And congratz to him~!!! XD

sigh

Diary ar diary.. can u mention how hurt am i now? i feel hard on breathin man.. I had the biggest argue with him today.. Maybe he don't take it as anythin, but for me, it's truely hurt.. through the way he hurtin me, u can see that. Even he said a sorry to me, but i'm still very sad, u noe?
I really realised i'm a true dumbo. Do u still think that i need to tell him? Should i? i'm so confuse. Should i start everythin again with a zero????
Early i took my mind to, but now, i'm thinkin should i.. i really luv him as it can't to given up that easy. Do u think likin someone for a year can be given up that easy? i hoped it is...
Damn sad~ sighh~~


0036

Whateverr

Saw him today.
I just don't dare to look straight into his eyes, it was scary..
But even how i still wanted to see him... i care it whether he's lookin for me, findin for me.. or don't even care about me..

Well i don't know.. It's just too complicated.. and so fat i really don't know wat will happen next..
So
Just wait and see ba

So damn idiot la today.
Early early in da mornin woke me up, pulled me to court, but have no place to place.
Reached there i'm still in sleepin mode also, just feel like pengsan-in.. wan tor tor.. den sit there like patung.. zzz.. But when i wanted to play, there's still no court..
Btw, lucky i din play also, 3 bucks, so damn expensive, just for A match...zzz


2243

I miss him...

I can't believe that the feelins really came back again.
F r u s t r a t e d.
Which means it's useless even after i did tried so hard on forgettin him.. Or even i fell for others. But it's USELESS.. uselesss.. @.@
I will just fall for him over and over again.
WHEN AM I GONNA GET RID OF THIS?????
I wanna be like pearl. Just accept others den fall for that person suan le.
BUT I CAN'T!!!


So tired of missin him.........


2258

爱？还是不爱?

我好害怕。。。我真的真的好怕。。。
那些感觉就好像……一次过回来了。。。
我还以为，我已经彻彻底底的忘了他。。。喜欢了第二个。。。
我的确曾竟忘记他……甚至一点都没想起他。。。
但当我和他说回话时，我发觉我又重新爱上了他。。。
但当我知道别人有可能对他又意思时，我会害怕。。。是害怕。。。
我不想就这样放手。。。
但我也不想再像以前那样，又重新开始过。。。
我累了，真的好累。。。我觉得这样爱得很吃力，很辛苦。。。不想放手，但也不想从头开始。。。
那我，因该则么办呢？

The first day of schol

It's really a wasted.
Whole day at the perhimpunan, listen teacher talkin crap. Somemore EVERY subejct. Sien like cow.
Btw, tomorrow will seperate class, abit chi dai XD..
12 liao lo, so damn full cannot sleep, haix,, chi zou jadi dai fei po@.@.

Anyway, finally saw pearl today. before that she really hak dou us, swwttt...
Aiyo, nothin much to write today la, buhbyexx~~~!!!!!

SCHOOL, see me tomorrow ya? XD


0004

Can't sleep

It's been 0023, even i'm feelin a little tired, but i can't sleep at all.
haiz. Everytime before school reopen also like that de wor. Don't know it's i'm too excitin or what. BUt i guess is because i used to sleep at 3-4. Even how tired am i now also kenot sleep. damn.

I'm so curious for tomorrow.
Will i be able to same class with my friends? can i?
I'm goin to join pure sciene. Will i able to study pure science?
What will happen on the first day of reopen?
I WONDER~~

NOw don't know what to do la, cannot sleep. HAIZ.


0026

No matter - Angel

It's a tvb theme song from the buildin blocks of life.
Nice, enjoy it.!!! But too bad i still can't get the full version. haiz.



Doesn't matter whom you are with .
Doesn't matter where you are going.
Don't you know I'm still waiting here for you and pray for you .
In the sunny days,sun will light you day.
In the windy day, wind will leave your way.
I have to say, you're my treasure moments.
Never gonna walk away.
In the rainy days,rain will share my tears.
In the stormy days, storms will steal my pain.
Just go your way and leave things all behind.
Spread your wings and fly away.
I'm pretending you're mine. I'm wishing you'll be fine.
The moments we share never die.
You've made a difference to my life